Portland's Press Hotel: Uncover the City's Hidden Gem!
Review: The [Insert Hotel Name Here] - My Slightly Chaotic, Utterly Honest Take
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this review of the [Insert Hotel Name Here] is gonna be less polished travel brochure and more "what actually happened" on my recent stay. Let's be clear: I’m no travel influencer. I'm just a regular schmoe with a credit card and a penchant for a good (and occasionally terrible) time. So, here we go…
SEO & Metadata, Baby! (But Let's Be Human First)
Before we dive in, let's appease the Google gods. This hotel is all about: Accessibility, On-site restaurants, Wi-Fi, Spa, Swimming Pool, Fitness Center, Cleanliness, Safe Dining, and a whole bunch of other bells and whistles. Keywords, check! Now, let's cut the crap and get real…
Accessibility (and the Time I Almost Tripped Over a Curb)
Okay, accessibility. That's important, right? The website boasted about it. “Wheelchair accessible,” it chirped. Well, let's just say, my experience of wheel-chair-accessibility was a little… mixed. The lobby was fine, the elevator was a godsend (especially after hauling my suitcase!), and the rooms looked pretty accessible. But then I went outside. The pavement leading to the pool area had some seriously questionable curbing situations. I'm agile and I nearly faceplanted. I can only imagine what it'd be like navigating that in a wheelchair – a level of commitment I definitely don't possess. So, yeah, mixed bag on accessibility, folks. Be prepared to, uh, navigate.
On-Site Restaurants & Lounges (and the Mystery Meat Incident)
This is where things get interesting. The hotel had a whole slew of restaurants and bars. Restaurants, Poolside bar, Coffee shop, Snack bar – you name it, they claimed to have it. The actual quality, however, was a bit of a gamble. I'm pretty sure I ordered "international cuisine" one night and ended up with something that resembled a very sad mystery meat. Seriously, I'm still not sure what it was. But the Asian breakfast? Surprisingly decent. The coffee? Acceptable for a hotel. The Happy Hour at the Bar? Well, let's just say my liver and I became very well-acquainted.
Internet Access (and the Great Wi-Fi Hunt)
"Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" the website screamed. Lies! Okay, maybe not lies, but definitely a misunderstanding of the word "free". I spent at one point, a solid 30 minutes trying to connect to the internet. The irony of wanting to review a hotel from a place that won't let me connect to the internet is not lost on me. Internet [LAN] was available too, who even plugs into the wall anymore?
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (or the Time I Became a Prune)
The hotel really touted its relaxation offerings. Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Pool with view, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap… the whole shebang. And for the most part, it was… good. The pool with a view was genuinely gorgeous. The Sauna did its job. I even submitted to a body scrub which, I’m ashamed to admit, I actually kind of enjoyed. I felt like a peeled onion afterwards, smooth and slightly vulnerable. The gym (Fitness center/Gym/fitness) was a different story. Rusty equipment and a distinct lack of air conditioning meant it was less "fitness center" and more "sweat chamber."
Cleanliness & Safety (and the Anxiety-Inducing Hand Sanitizer)
Okay, I'm a bit of a germaphobe post-pandemic, so this was a huge deal for me. The hotel definitely tried. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment, Hand sanitizer everywhere… it was frankly, a bit overwhelming. The hand sanitizer smelled suspiciously like cheap tequila, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was living in a giant biohazard suit. But hey, at least everything looked clean.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking (and the Case of the Vanishing Soup)
Beyond the mystery meat, the Dining, drinking, and snacking options were… varied. The Breakfast [buffet] was your standard hotel fare. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was acceptable. The Salad in restaurant was actually surprisingly good. I ordered soup one night, and it vanished. Like, poof! Gone! I questioned the waiter, but the language barrier was real and I lost the plot.
Services and Conveniences (and the Amazing Concierge - Mostly)
The hotel offered a ton of Services and conveniences: Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Elevator, Dry cleaning, Room service [24-hour], Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes. The concierge was, for the most part, fantastic. They helped with transport, restaurant recommendations (avoiding the mystery meat establishment!), and generally kept me from completely losing my mind. The Daily housekeeping was efficient, although I did find a stray sock under the bed…which, admittedly, might have been mine.
For the Kids (and the Lack of My Non-existent Kids)
No kids here, so I will leave this category short. Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal, but it’s hard to judge.
Available in All Rooms
My room was relatively comfortable, complete with Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Slippers, Smoke detector, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free]. The Window that opens was a godsend.
Getting Around (and the Questionable Taxi Ride)
They had a few options: Airport transfer, Taxi service, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Valet parking The taxi service arranged by the hotel was… an experience. My driver apparently majored in "speed bumps" at the University of Potholes.
The Bottom Line…
Would I stay at the [Insert Hotel Name Here] again? Maybe. It's a mixed bag, folks. The potential is there. It's not perfect, but its got its charming moments. My advice? Lower your expectations, pack your hand sanitizer, and maybe bring your own snacks. And for the love of all that is holy, be careful on those curbs.
Final Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars. (and a silent prayer for my poor digestive system.)
Gilroy Getaway: Unbeatable Days Inn Deals! (CA)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a Portland, Maine adventure… starting with the ridiculously charming, slightly overpriced (but hey, aesthetic!) The Press Hotel. This ain’t your meticulously color-coded travel itinerary, folks. This is my itinerary. My brain-dump-slash-guide-to-slightly-less-disaster-prone-travel.
Day 1: Arrival & The Existential Dread of a Fancy Hotel Lobby
- 1:00 PM: Arrived in Portland! Okay, actually, probably closer to 1:30. Traffic on I-95 was a nightmare, and I may have screamed at a minivan with a "Baby on Board" sticker. No regrets. The Press Hotel, though… wow. Those vintage typewriters in the lobby are gorgeous. Seriously, I want to reach out and touch them, but I'm also terrified I'll break one and end up paying for a replacement. (And by "paying," I mean going bankrupt.)
- 1:45 PM: Check-in. The front desk guy was way too cheerful. I suspect he's an alien in disguise. Or maybe he just hasn't had his morning coffee yet. Anyway, got the room. Room service menu already tucked in my bag. Priorities.
- 2:00 PM - 3:30 PM: The room! Glorious, sunny room. I threw my bags on the bed. Okay, let's be honest, I basically exploded my bags on the bed. Clothes everywhere. Gotta unpack later, though. First, a shower. And then? A deep, soul-searching conversation with the mini-bar about the meaning of life (and maybe whether a $12 bottle of water is really worth it). I mean, honestly, the pressure of being "on vacation" is exhausting.
- 3:30 PM - 5:00 PM: Wander the hotel. The art! The history! The fact that I felt like I should whisper everywhere. I peeked into the fitness center and immediately felt the guilt of not working out at all. The library! I could live there. Spent way longer than I should have admiring the curated book collection, then I gave up.
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Drinks at the Inkwell Bar. The cocktails are expensive, but the atmosphere… Chef's kiss! Met a couple of ladies from Boston who were already three drinks deep. They were hilarious. We bonded over a shared love of complaining about the state of dating apps and the questionable life choices of Instagram influencers. The bartender was cute, I was flirtatious and then, I was over it, and I was not in the mood for it anymore and went to the room.
- 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Room service. I ordered the burger. (Don't judge me.) It was… good. Perfectly acceptable, but the fries weren't as crispy as I'd hoped. Minor setback. I ate the burger and I felt great. Watched TV for an hour, which I shouldn't be allowed to do on vacation.
- 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Tried to figure out where to go for dinner tonight. Looked at a million reviews and I was completely overwhelmed. Decided on a random place.
- 9:30 PM: Walked to dinner by myself. It was a place called "Street & Co." I didn't like the vibe. I was instantly worried about being alone. And I knew I was being way too emotional. Sat at the bar because all the tables were booked. Got the fish, but I didn't eat it all. It was fine. Walked back to the hotel, felt like a giant, awkward goofball.
- 11:00 PM: Collapse into bed. Stare at the ceiling. Reminded myself I'm supposed to have fun. Remembered I'm alone, and I wanted to cry.
- 11:30 PM: Slept.
Day 2: Clam Chowder, Lobster Rolls, and the Sudden Urge to Buy a Boat.
- 8:00 AM: Woke up. Ugh. Late. Coffee. Must. Have. Coffee. The Keurig in the room is adequate, but it's not real coffee.
- 9:00 AM: Walked down to the little café downstairs. I ordered a croissant and a latte. The croissant was dry, which added insult to injury to my mood. Ate while quietly judging everyone else ordering food.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: EXPLORED! Okay, I wandered around the Old Port. So many cute shops! So many things I wanted to buy (a turquoise bracelet, a ridiculously overpriced scarf, the whole shop of antiques!), so little self-control. Got completely lost twice, but hey, that's part of the adventure, right? Bought a postcard with a seagull on it. The seagull was judging me.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch! Clam chowder and a lobster roll at a place called "Eventide Oyster Co." (because everyone said it was great): Holy mother of clams and lobster. I was completely smitten. Possibly the best meal of my life. The brown butter? Divine intervention, I tell you. Ate it so fast, I almost choked. Then, I walked around Portland, Maine in a state of bliss.
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Browsed more shops (I bought a t-shirt that says "I Heart Lobster Rolls" and regret nothing).
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Okay, listen. I am not a boat person. I get seasick just thinking about it. But! Those boats! Those beautiful, jaunty, ocean-faring vessels! I walked down the wharf, and I swear I briefly considered selling all my worldly possessions and buying a sailboat. (Note to self: Remember this moment when I'm knee-deep in bills and ramen noodles).
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: A "spa treatment." I got a massage, and I almost died of relaxation. It was needed.
- 6:00 PM: Found another restaurant. This time, went to a place called "Fore Street". This time, I got a table. I had reservations and I thought, Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting the hang of this whole "traveling alone" thing. I ordered the grilled swordfish and the waiter told me it was the best dish, and I believed him. Watched the people. Thought about calling a friend. Ended up being okay.
- 8:00 PM: Back to The Press Hotel. More TV.
Day 3: Art Galleries, Last Bites, and the Bitter (Sweet?) Farewell.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. This time, I actually enjoyed the dry croissant. Maybe I'm starting to embrace the chaos.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Explored art galleries. Portland has a surprisingly vibrant art scene! Ended up leaving a gallery with a print that I cannot afford. Tried to reason myself out of buying it. Ultimately I failed.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch. Went back to "Eventide." I needed another lobster roll, and the brown butter craving hadn't left. I think I'm addicted.
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Wandered the cobblestone streets one last time. Trying to soak it all in. This place is charming.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Packing. (Still a disaster). Last-minute panic about souvenirs. Did I buy enough? Did I buy the right stuff? Packed the print.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: One last drink at the Inkwell Bar. Maybe. I'm tired. Maybe it's time to go home.
- 5:00 PM: Check-out. Goodbye, The Press Hotel. You were swanky and expensive, and I probably won't be able to afford you again for a while. But I will always remember the typewriters.
- 6:00 PM: Head back to airport. Stop at that shop and grab the last of the "I Heart Lobster Rolls" t-shirts.
Final Thoughts:
Portland is amazing. Traveling alone is… an experience. It’s a rollercoaster of joy and self-doubt. I felt lonely one minute, and the next I felt on top of the world. I ate lobster rolls. I bought art. My bank account is crying. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Until next time, Maine. Until next time. I think I'll need to go home and just be home for a long time.
Wingate by Wyndham High Point: Your Dream High Point Getaway Awaits!
Okay, so… what *is* extreme couponing, exactly? Like, robbing the store? (Just kidding… mostly.)
Alright, so, it's not *exactly* grand larceny. Though, sometimes, you feel like you *should* be wearing a ski mask after a particularly epic shopping trip. Basically, it's the art of maximizing discounts using coupons, store sales, and other rewards programs. Think of it as a highly strategic, often obsessive, dance with the grocery gods. It involves clipping, organizing, planning… and sometimes, a level of commitment that borders on religious fervor. I’ve seen people CRY because the coupon for their favorite artisanal pickle brand expired. True story.
Is it actually *worth* the time and effort? Because I've got like, a LIFE, you know?
Ugh, the eternal question! Listen, that's the million-dollar query, isn't it? Here's the brutal truth: it depends. Are you prepared to dedicate hours each week to scouring flyers, printing coupons (and sometimes, a whole tree's worth!), and actually *organizing* them? Because if the answer is "meh, maybe," then probably not. I tried to 'dabble' once, thought I could be this laid-back couponer, you know? Ended up with sticky notes everywhere, expired coupons galore, and a pantry that looked more like a grocery warehouse than a place I actually *used*. The point is, if you like the thrill of the hunt, the satisfaction of a mega-deal, heck yeah! But if you're easily overwhelmed by the sheer VOLUME of it all… maybe stick to couponing for your go-to products and call it a day.
What are the *most* important things to know before I jump in the deep end? Like, what's the survival kit for Couponing 101?
Okay, rookie, listen up! First, you'll need a good organizational system. I'm talking a binder (or several!), dividers, clear sleeves, the whole shebang. And a pair of tiny scissors… *essential*. Second, learn the lingo! "Stacking," "catalina coupons,” “rock bottom prices…” It's a whole new language, I tell ya. Third, and this is HUGE: check expiration dates religiously! Nothing is more soul-crushing than realizing you have a mountain of coupons… that expired a year ago. Finally, and this is the most important one: *don't be afraid to fail*. You WILL make mistakes. You will miss deals. You will end up with a gallon of mayonnaise you didn’t need. Just dust yourself off and try again. Bonus tip: Find a good couponing community online. They're usually a bunch of crazy, generous souls, and they're a lifeline. They can tell you what's hot, what's not, and where to get your hands on those elusive coupons for, well, artisanal pickles. 😉
Where do I even *find* these mythical coupons, anyway? Is there a secret coupon tree I don't know about?
Ah, the quest for the golden coupon! Sadly, no coupon tree. Though, wouldn't that be FABULOUS? First, hit up the Sunday paper (specifically the inserts like SmartSource and RedPlum). Then, there’s the internet, baby! Websites like Coupons.com, RetailMeNot, and brand-specific sites are your best friends. Print them at home, or load them onto store loyalty cards. And don't forget the mobile apps! They're popping up *everywhere* now. And *then* there's that whole store-specific fun, like those magical coupons that you get when you purchase certain items. I once stocked up on like, 10 gallons of milk because they were offering a coupon for free cereal. *Free Cereal.* My kids thought it was Christmas, honestly. The key is to be patient, persistent, and a little bit… crazy.
Okay, okay, I'm getting the hang of this... but what about "stacking"? What's that voodoo?!
Ah, stacking! The Holy Grail of couponing. The thing that makes the whole thing worth the effort. It's basically using multiple coupons on a single item to achieve maximum savings. For example, you might use a manufacturer's coupon *and* a store coupon. Sometimes, you can even combine that with a sale price! (Cue the angels singing...) Here’s where it can get a little… complicated. Some stores don’t allow stacking. Some only allow a certain number of manufacturer coupons per item. It's all about reading the fine print, but when it clicks, it's pure couponing bliss. I remember one time I got a tube of fancy toothpaste for about 25 cents. Twenty-five cents! I felt like I'd won the lottery. My dentist, on the other hand, probably hated me.
What kind of *mistakes* do people make when they start extreme couponing? Tell me the horror stories!
Oh, buckle up, because the mistake stories are *LEGENDARY*. The most common? Buying things you don't actually need… just because they're on sale or you have a coupon. I'm talking about the time my friend bought 17 jars of capers. *Seventeen!* She doesn't even *like* capers! They sat in her pantry, judging her for, like, a year. Then there's the double-dipping—trying to use coupons that aren't valid, or scanning the wrong ones. Or the couponers getting into arguments with the cashiers! (Please don't be that person!). And not reading the fine print! That's a biggie. Expired coupons are always the heartbreak. And the overwhelming feeling of… well, overwhelm. Couponing fatigue is REAL. You start to see deals everywhere; you can't turn it off. The world becomes a giant discount sign, and you're just chasing the dragon of a good deal. It's a slippery slope!
What about the ethical side? Are there any couponing rules I should know about before I even *think* about trying it?
Absolutely. There's a fine line between savvy shopping and, well, being a jerk. Respect the store's coupon policies. No faking coupons (that's illegal!), no trying to photocopy coupons. And if a cashier seems unsure about something, be patient and polite. They deal with cranky customers all day long. Also, don't be that person who clears the shelves of an item when others might want it. Share the wealth! It’s nice to be nice. And it's also nice to support the stores that are offering the deals. Remember, we're trying to save money, not make enemies. I try to remember this every time I’m tempted to fight over the last pack of discounted batteries. Maybe I have to work on this rule a bit more…
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