Escape to Silicon Valley: Your Dream San Jose Extended Stay Awaits!
The (Unfiltered!) Rundown: A Hotel Review to End All Hotel Reviews (aka, My Brain Dump)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to dive headfirst into the swirling vortex of… this hotel. I'm not just reviewing it, I'm living it (well, lived it, and now I'm trying to untangle the mess in my memory). And trust me, it's a tangled mess. Prepare for some… real talk.
First, the Basics (and the Free Stuff, Because, Duh!)
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms?! YES. Praise be! That's a non-negotiable in this day and age. And it did actually work. Score one for sanity. Internet: You get it. Internet [LAN]: Honestly? Never even touched the LAN cable. Who are you people? Still using those? Internet Services: Fine. Whatever. Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Surprisingly reliable, especially at the… pool. (We'll get there. I'm trying to build suspense, people!)
Accessibility: The Good, the Bad, and the "Almost There"
Wheelchair Accessible?: Okay, this is important. They say it is. I saw elevators and ramps. But let's be honest, sometimes "accessible" feels like a box-ticking exercise, you know? I didn't need it, but I did notice some narrow doorways leading to the… ahem… other rooms. Elevator: (See Above). Facilities for disabled guests: A definite “maybe.” I'd suggest double-checking specific room details directly, depending on your mobility needs. Regarding the bathroom: They had a good size bathroom which is a plus, but no special handle bars by the toilet.
Things to Do (and How Much Chilling I Actually Did)
Alright, time to assess the play-by-play.
- Fitness Center: Here's the thing. I intended to hit the gym. Really, I did. I even packed my gym clothes. But then… Pool with View. Yep. That's where I spent most of my time. The fitness center was there, beckoning me, but it ended up being just an afterthought.
- Gym/Fitness: They had the usual treadmills, weights, the whole shebang. But honestly, I’m not sure if I even saw anyone else in there. Probably just as well, because my personal space is a precious commodity.
- Sauna, Spa, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath:: Okay, this is where it gets interesting. The spa… was a vibe. Dim lighting, hushed tones, the smell of… something calming. I got a massage. (More on that later. That deserves its own chapter, practically a whole mini-series, really.) Pool with view also has its own space, and a view. The view wasn't over the top, like in some hotels, it was on par.
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: The main event (for me, at least). The outdoor pool. I'm a sucker for a good pool. This was a good pool. Clean, clear water. Plenty of space to… you know… exist. Sun loungers aplenty. And the aforementioned view. Let’s just say, I didn't spend much time in my room during the day.
Cleanliness and Safety: More Than Just a Spray Bottle
This is where this place actually shines. In the current climate, this is probably the most crucial part of a hotel review.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: They took this stuff seriously. I saw the staff cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Tables spaced out. Honestly, I felt safe. I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so this was a huge win for me. Hot water linen and laundry washing: Another good to know thing, especially with Covid still present.
- Breakfast takeaway service: This was a nice touch, and a good choice in many situations.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Adventures (and the Occasional Hangry Meltdown)
Okay, food. This is where my memories get… fuzzy. In a good way, mostly.
- A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Bar, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant:: The options? Plenty. The quality? Variable.
- The Breakfast Buffet was… a buffet. I'm a buffet person. I love a good buffet. This one was… fine. Standard stuff. Eggs, bacon (sometimes crispy!), croissants. The coffee was drinkable. (That's a compliment, trust me.)
- Room service [24-hour]: Bless them. After a few too many cocktails at the Poolside bar (Happy hour, you glorious thing!), ordering a greasy burger at 2 am was an absolute necessity. No judgment.
- Restaurant food: Decent. Not life-changing. The Asian options were decent. The Western options were… serviceable. The Happy hour drinks, however, were top-notch (Especially after a day at the pool.)
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Difference (or Cause Utter Chaos)
- Air conditioning in public area: Needed!
- Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center This is where hotels become a little bit of of an urban maze.
- Concierge: The concierge service was helpful… after a few attempts and some hand waving. They made it work; however, I had to tell them what I needed.
- Daily housekeeping: They kept my room immaculate. Always a plus.
- Elevator: Essential.
- Smoking area: Nice to have. Separated from the main areas.
- Luggage storage: Smooth.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Who even uses these anymore?
- Food delivery: You could have foods delivered, which is good, but I never tried it.
For the Kids: (I Didn't Have Any, But Hey…)
- Babysitting service
- Family/child friendly
- Kids facilities
- Kids meal
I have no kids. So, I have no comment. They looked kid-friendly. I saw some kids. They seemed happy. (That’s about all I can offer here, folks!)
Available in All Rooms: The Nitty-Gritty (and the Stuff I Couldn’t Live Without)
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.: Everything you'd expect, plus a few nice touches.
- Air conditioning: Crucial.
- Blackout curtains: Because sleep is a priority.
- Free bottled water: Always appreciated.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential for those moments of crisis.
- Mini bar: Expensive, but tempting.
- Wi-Fi [free]: The backbone of modern existence.
My Crazy Emotional Reactions (Because I’m Human!)
Okay, so here's the thing:
Escape to Jasper's Majestic Forest Park Hotel: Unforgettable Luxury Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're going full-on, chaotic, possibly-hungover, Extended Stay America adventure in San Jose! Prepare for a wild ride.
EXTENDED STAY AMERICA - SAN JOSE - EDENVALE - SOUTH SAN JOSE (CA) - THE UNFILTERED EDITION
Days 1 & 2: Arrival, Room Roulette, and the Elusive Refrigerator
Arrival (Day 1, Afternoon): Landed at SJC – slightly panicked, as always. Did I pack enough socks? Did I really need that oversized inflatable flamingo? (Spoiler: yes, yes, I did.) Uber to the Extended Stay. The Edenvale location feels…industrial? Like a place robots would choose to breed – functional, but lacking in soul. Check-in was smooth, thankfully. The front desk lady, bless her heart, had that weary "seen-it-all" look that comes with dealing with weary travelers like me. Room key acquired!
Room Inspection & Initial Panic: Okay, the room. Standard Extended Stay. A kitchenette that promises cooking capabilities, but let's be honest, I'm more likely to burn water than whip up a gourmet meal. The smell… faintly of air freshener trying to mask a more fundamental truth. (Is it mold? Old pizza? Mystery.). The fridge… ah, the fridge. Not working! This is a critical failure. My emotional support water bottles demand to be chilled.
The Fridge Saga (Day 1 Continued): Called the front desk. The fridge repair guy came. Then he left. The fridge was still dead. After a second call, and a very emphatic plea (“I’m melting! Literally. My ice packs!”), they finally switched us to a new room. Success! Fridge is glorious, humming like a tiny, frosty, savior. Unpacked (mostly), chugged water. Feeling somewhat human again.
Food Acquisition - The Great Google Maps Quest: The urge to order pizza is strong, but I should probably eat some veggies. Googled "restaurants near me." The results are… sparse. Turns out, Edenvale isn’t exactly a culinary mecca. Settled on a surprisingly good, late-night (diner), a solid, greasy burger to soak up the travel fatigue.
Day 2: The Quest for Coffee and the Mystery of the Laundry Room
- Morning Ritual: Coffee! Desperately needed coffee to fuel the quest. Found an alright coffee shop, (some generic chain thing, but desperate times, desperate measures), and it was good enough to bring me back from the brink.
- Laundry Adventures: The hotel laundry room… a small, slightly intimidating space. Confronted the coin machines: a crucial test I passed. Tossed in my laundry. Crossed my fingers. (Never trust a washing machine in a hotel.)
- Work and the existential dread: Back in the room. The work email is the new shadow. The existential dread of "doing" hangs over me. I hate the feeling of obligation. But, at least, I have coffee.
- The Evening Stroll: Took a walk around the area. Saw the same 2 dogs and 5 cars at the same time. Very comforting and oddly calming. Ate more greasy fast food. Realized I'm slowly becoming a permanent resident.
Days 3 & 4: The "Silicon Valley" Attempt and the Emotional Rollercoaster of a Rental Car
Day 3: The Rental Car Disaster
- Rental Car Drama: Ordered a rental car. Pick-up was supposed to be, easy but… wrong. I specifically requested a car that would fit my giant suitcase and the aforementioned flamingo. Got a sardine can on wheels. The rental counter guy looked as though he was trained to crush souls. He barely made eye contact as he shuffled the paperwork with a detached air. This whole rental experience felt like a prelude to a divorce.
- Silicon Valley Tour (attempted): Drove into the heart of Silicon Valley. Found myself at a Googleplex, gawking at the giant Android statues. Feel like an imposter, like I'm not supposed to be there. Is the Silicon Valley actually… cool? After some hours of staring at buildings, I gave up.
- Dinner Disappointment: Wound up at a highly-rated (and hyped-up) restaurant. The food was… fine. Overpriced, pretentious, and ultimately unsatisfying. Moral of the story: hype is a liar.
Day 4: A Day of Mixed Feelings (and Missing Socks)
- Work and contemplation: Decided to just, like, work. The room is now my prison. Then, I took a nap. Then, I was sad.
- The Grocery Store Run (and the Sock Mystery): Had to replenish the snack reserves. Went to a supermarket. Realized I seem to have lost one of my favorite socks. The sock's last known location was the hotel laundry… a sign? a statement? The mystery continues.
- Late-Night Grub Went to the same greasy burger joint. Ordered the same burger. Accepted my fate. Enjoyed the burger.
Days 5 & 6: Escaping Edenvale! And the Sweet Taste of Freedom (or "Almost Freedom")
Day 5: Flight and Travel
- Morning: Morning routine - coffee, laundry. The rental car is a symbol of independence and I have not died.
- Flight Prep… The packing begins. Packing is an art, a science, and a form of psychological damage all rolled into one. The flamingo gets a special spot.
- Flight: The flight. The airport. I'm scared of flying. I've had so much anxiety.
- Aftermath: I am alive. I need a drink.
Day 6: The Extended Stay Exit (and the Unresolved Mysteries)
- Goodbye, Edenvale! Final inspection of the room. Did I remember to tip housekeeping? (Probably not. I’m terrible.) Checked out. The front desk lady gave me a knowing smile. She's seen it all, indeed.
- The Sock Mystery: SOLVED?! … Okay, not really solved. Still no sign of the missing sock. I suspect it's now a permanent resident of the Extended Stay washing machine abyss. Its fate, a mystery.
Reflections & Post-Trip Ramblings:
- The Good: The fridge did eventually work. I didn't lose my mind. The burger place was consistently decent, even if the food wasn't, like, "art".
- The Bad: The commute was terrible, and the car. The emotional work. The pretentious food. The sock.
- The Verdict: Extended Stay America: Not glamorous, not fancy, but a functional base of operations. I'd survive. And that’s a victory in itself. But next trip? I'm splurging on a real hotel. And a better-fitting car. And definitely, definitely more socks.
- Final Thought: The messiness is what makes it human, right? Now, where's my suitcase? And that, my friends, is the extended truth of this trip.
Ugh, What *is* This FAQ About, Anyway? (I'm Already Bored)
Alright, alright, simmer down. It's about… well, it's about *stuff*. Life stuff. And me responding to supposed questions about it, and maybe revealing way too much in the process. Think of it as a digital therapy session... only, I'm the patient and the therapist. Or maybe the patient *is* the therapist and the therapist is… the awkward intern making coffee. Who knows! Basically, it's a semi-coherent ramble. But hey, you clicked, didn't you? Don't blame me!
So, You *Know* Things Then? Like, *Important* Things?
“Know” is a strong word. I possess knowledge like my sock drawer: mostly mismatched, slightly dusty, and a bit… suspect. I've accumulated some tidbits, sure. Experiences. Mistakes. Regrets I'll take to my grave (or at least, the next therapy session). But important things? Define "important." Is knowing the perfect angle to hold a pizza slice vital? Because I *nail* that. Is knowing how many consecutive hours of Netflix is considered unhealthy? I could write a dissertation. So... maybe? Probably not. But I’m here. And that *has* to count for something, right?
What's The Deal With, Like, *Actual* Life Stuff Like Relationships? Are You Good At That?
Relationships… oh, *relationships*. My love life is a cinematic masterpiece of awkward silences, accidental miscommunications, and the occasional epic dating disaster. Picture this: attempting to impress someone with a home-cooked meal (burnt garlic bread) while simultaneously trying to remember their name (kept calling them “Dave” - their name was Sarah). Pure. Chaos. My advice? Approach relationships with the same strategy I use for folding fitted sheets: pretend you know what you're doing, pray for the best, and accept the inevitable crumpling and frustration. And maybe have a therapist on speed dial.
Okay, Fine, What *About* Work Then?! Are You Even Employable?
Employable? That's a loaded question! I *am* employed, technically. I have a job. I show up (mostly). I occasionally complete tasks. I'm... adequate. Look, let's just say it's a good thing I like the people I work with because some days the job feels like… a long, arduous hike. There was this one time, I was supposed to deliver a report to the head office. Got it all ready, dressed nicely, and went in, only to realise I had gone to the wrong office... in a different state. I’m not sure how I managed that, honestly. It's a miracle I haven't been fired yet. But hey, I’m still here. And every day is a gamble. A delicious, anxiety-inducing gamble.
What's the worst thing you’ve *ever* done? (Come on. Spill it!)
Oh, the *worst*? That's tough. There are so many contenders! There's the time I accidentally set off the smoke alarm trying to make toast (again). There's the moment I tried to parallel park a car the size of a small country... and failed spectacularly. But the *worst*? Okay, fine. It was in high school during a History exam, I was absolutely drawing a blank. So I *may* have "borrowed" some answers from the kid next to me. A total stranger! I feel guilty now... even though I don’t even remember what the questions were. And I think I still failed the test. Talk about a lose-lose situation! I cringe at the memory. But you know what? We've all made mistakes. Probably. Right?
Food. Tell Me About Food. Because I'm Always Hungry, And This Is Important.
Food. Ah, yes. The fuel of existence and the source of my greatest joys and deepest insecurities. I have a complicated relationship with food, I'm not going to lie. I adore anything with cheese (Seriously, a cheese-wheel is my dream home-decor). But the cooking? Not so much. I can produce a mean pasta dish. Okay, I take that back. I can heat up pasta. But some of my cooking adventures... once, I tried to be fancy and make a soufflé. It was a disaster. It collapsed into a sad, eggy puddle. My cat, Mittens, wouldn't even touch it. And I am not even going to mention the curry incident of '09. Let's just say I have a very healthy respect for takeout.
What do you do for fun? (Besides, you know, whatever this is...)
Fun? Ooh, good question! I try to carve out pockets of fun amidst the chaos. I *love* reading, preferably curled up on the couch with a cup of tea (and a mountain of snacks). I've become a bit obsessed with true crime podcasts, which helps me feel… intellectually superior? (Maybe that's a lie.) I go to the gym to de-stress, but I'm still a bit clumsy in the gym. I once tripped over a treadmill and nearly took out a whole rack of weights. It's the little things, the small moments of joy. Like finding a perfectly ripe avocado. Or a really good meme. That kind of *stuff* is living, right?
Are You… Happy? Like, Really?
Happy? That's a loaded question, and I hate that word! It's a mess, life. I think I’m… okay. There are days when I'm on top of the world, ready to conquer the world (or at least, the grocery store). Then there are days when I'm curled up in a ball, questioning all my life choices. I'm always waiting for something to mess up. Life is messy. It's imperfect. It's… messy. But it's *mine*. And I wouldn't trade it for anything, not even that perfect slice of pizza (okay, *maybe* for a really good slice of pizza). I laugh. I cry. I get annoyed. I love hard. Isn’t that enough?
Okay, Fine. One More. Any regrets?
Oh, REGREStarlight Inns
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