Escape to Sandy: Utah's BEST Marriott Residence Inn!
Okay, Deep Breath… Here's The Dish on [Hotel Name Here - Imagine a really cool one]
Alright, buckle up buttercups, ‘cause I just crawled outta… well, let's just say a certain hotel, and I'm still buzzing. This ain't your average travel blog fluff piece, folks. This is the raw, unfiltered truth. Think of me as your hotel truth-teller, your anti-influencer, if you will. And listen, I've got feelings. LOTS of them. This place… whew. Let’s dive in, shall we?
First Impressions - The Good (and the Slightly Sketchy)
Look, the aesthetic? Gorgeous. Seriously, someone's got an eye. Modern, sleek, with these massive windows that practically beg you to Instagram them. (Guilty as charged, but let’s keep that between us, yeah?) The air conditioning in the public areas? Yes, thank the heavens! This is important, especially if you’ve been hoofing it around town all day. And the doormen? Chivalrous. Absolutely charming. Made me feel like a VIP, even though I’m pretty sure I’m on the least VIP list.
But…
The "exterior corridor" was…well, it felt a little like a movie set for a thriller. Dark, a bit deserted. Made me double-check who was following me. (Okay, maybe I have a vivid imagination.) And the "contactless check-in/out"? Worked…mostly. A slight hiccup involved a rogue Wi-Fi signal and a lot of frantic clicking on my phone. But hey, they were trying!
Accessibility - Let's Get Real
Okay, this is important. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, mostly. They said they were equipped, and I did see elevators and ramps, but… the execution felt a little off. Like, someone knew the rules, but hadn't lived them. I saw one ramp with a slightly too steep incline (eek!), and a bathroom where maneuverability might be tight. So, if you're relying on complete accessibility, maybe call ahead and really grill them on the details. Facilities for disabled guests: Check the details and ensure that your specific requirements are met. This is not one of those things you want to take a gamble on.
On-Site Culinary Adventures - A Story to Tell
Right, let's talk food. Because, honestly, that’s where things get interesting. "Restaurants"? Plural! Promised delights in Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and even a Vegetarian restaurant. (Score!) But… the reality? A bit of a rollercoaster.
- The Asian Breakfast: Okay, the Asian breakfast was pretty good. A steaming bowl of, uh, something delicious that I think was congee. The "alternative meal arrangement"? Surprisingly accommodating after I spilled my coffee everywhere. (Okay, maybe I had an "alternative arrangement" for myself. Don't judge, mornings.)
- The Poolside Bar: Ah, the Poolside bar. The scene of my first, and potentially most significant, hotel-related emotional breakdown. It started well! The Pool with view was undeniably stunning. Think turquoise water, palm trees swaying, the sun beating down… perfect! Then the drink arrived. A vibrant cocktail that looked like sunshine in a glass… until I sipped it. And then… let's just say the bartender had a very heavy hand with the tequila. I ended up weeping dramatically, clutching my sunglasses, and dramatically declaring that 'the patriarchy ruined my chances of ever finding love.' All while, I'm pretty sure, a couple of well-dressed business people were trying to place a catering order. Yeah, that was fun. (Note to self: order something without tequila next time).
- Room Service 24-hour: I woke up the next morning, mortified, but also ravenous. Breakfast in room, a total savior. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was my hero.
And the Important Stuff – Safety, Sanity, and Sanitize
Okay, let's get serious for a sec. COVID times, right? Cleanliness and safety is crucial. I was legit impressed. Anti-viral cleaning products were definitely in play. Daily disinfection in common areas, staff in masks, and what felt like a constant stream of sanitization were welcome sights. Seeing that they had Hand sanitizer available everywhere at all times, made me happy. I felt… safe. They’d put in place some Physical distancing of at least 1 meter and the Rooms sanitized between stays, felt like it was a priority. There was Room sanitization opt-out available, which I respected as a nice touch.
The Room: My Temporary Fortress (and its Quirks)
Ah, the sanctuary! Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathtub, Bathtrobes, Bathroom phone, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens, all of it. My room itself was… a mixed bag. The soundproofing was excellent. I barely heard anything from the hallway. I love free Wi-Fi in all rooms! And the view? Killer. BUT… the "extra long bed" felt a little… average. And the "complimentary tea"? Okay, it was instant tea. Seriously? Is this 1998 again?
The Spa: Potential for Bliss (and a Minor Panic Attack)
Spa/sauna. Oh, the Spa. Deep breaths. They had the works: Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Steamroom. It looked amazing. Gleaming, pristine, with the promise of total relaxation. I booked a massage. It started… wonderfully. The therapist was lovely, the pressure was perfect, I was drifting into blissful oblivion… until I realized I had no idea where I was. The lighting was dim, the music soothing, and then my mind started racing: Are they watching me? Is this a trap? Am I going to be buried in the sand?
After a few minutes of pure panic, I managed to cough, which broke the spell. It was lovely after that. But the point is, I almost lost it. Make sure you, you know, are actually relaxed.
Amenities and Services – The Good, the Bad, and the "Meh"
- Wi-Fi: Free Wi-Fi [free] – and it actually worked! A miracle in itself.
- Internet: Good.
- Internet [LAN]: There, but I stuck with Wi-Fi.
- Business facilities: Okay. I didn’t need them, but they were there. Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, and Meeting stationery. They even had a Xerox/fax in business center.
- Luggage storage: Super convenient.
- Concierge: Helpful.
- Laundry service: Saved my life.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Standard.
- Elevator: Essential.
- Cashless payment service: Check!
For the Kids: (My Non-Expert Opinion)
I don't have kids. So, take this with a grain of salt. But they had Babysitting service, which seems convenient. Kids facilities seemed to be available.
Getting Around:
Airport transfer – available. Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Bonus! Although, the valet parking felt a little too attentive.
Final Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Hmmm… It's complicated. The pros: the gorgeous aesthetics, the (mostly) excellent service, the pool, the potential for epic relaxation. The cons: the tequila, the slight accessibility glitches, the slightly too-intense spa experience.
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's perfectly-polished travel itinerary. This is my trip to the Residence Inn in Sandy, Utah, and let me tell you - expectations are already a tangled mess of excitement and the nagging fear of forgetting my toothbrush.
Day 1: Arrival and the Glorious Quest for Food (and Sanity)
1:00 PM: Arrive at SLC airport. Ugh, airports. It's always the same story: a blur of stressed-out people, overpriced coffee, and the faint scent of someone else's anxiety. I'm already mentally preparing for the inevitable TSA pat-down. Crossing my fingers they don't find that rogue half-eaten granola bar in my bag.
1:45 PM: Shuttle to Residence Inn. (Hopefully, it's the right shuttle. I swear, I've ended up in some seriously questionable places following the wrong airport transportation before. Once, I ended up in a goat farm. Long story.)
2:30 PM: Check-in. Praying to the check-in gods for a room on a lower floor. I have the lung capacity of a goldfish, and hiking up stairs with luggage will be a literal death sentence. Seriously. I'll probably trip and die.
3:00 PM: Room Reconnaissance and Luggage Unpacking – And the first crisis hits: Did I pack an iron? No. I'm doomed to wrinkled clothes. On the other hand, the bed looks supremely comfortable. I may just dive in and remain there for the rest of my trip.
3:30 PM: The Hunger Games Begins: The stomach pangs hit. The absolute, unadulterated hunger. Google Maps is pulled up, and the "restaurants near me" search commences. Options range from "meh" fast food spots to some place called "The Chipping Sparrow" which sounds suspiciously twee. Decision paralysis sets in. I'm probably going to end up sobbing into a plate of lukewarm fries, aren't I?
4:00 PM: End up at a random Thai place. Surprisingly decent Pad Thai. Victory! However, the portions are so small; my stomach is still grumbling.
5:00 PM: Unwind. Stare at the TV. Read a book. Mostly, stare at the bed, longing.
7:00 PM: Evening walk. Find a place to do laundry. The most hated chore ever.
8:00 PM: Order another Pad Thai on a delivery app or something else and eat it in the room.
9:00 PM: Attempt to do some work, inevitably get distracted by the lure of the fluffy hotel bed.
10:00 PM: Lights Out. Or, more accurately, lights dimmed while I mentally catalogue everything I forgot to do before bed.
Day 2: Salt Lake City Shenanigans (Maybe)
7:00 AM: Wake up after a night of tossing and turning. The hotel bed is not as comfortable as it seemed last night. The siren song of a free breakfast lures me out of bed.
7:30 AM: "Free breakfast" at the hotel. The usual suspects: lukewarm scrambled eggs that look suspiciously yellow and rubbery, questionable sausage, and the promise of stale pastries. The coffee is the only friend to be found, strong and bitter. Decide to make a serious effort to at least pretend to be healthy and grab a piece of fruit.
8:30 AM: Head out. Decide to hit up Temple Square. It's Salt Lake City, right? Gotta do the tourist thing even though crowds aren't really my vibe.
9:30 AM: Temple Square. Well, it's… impressive. The architecture is beautiful. The information is, ahem, interesting. Feel a sudden urge to leave because I don't like being in a place that feels like I am being watched…and I am!
11:00 AM: Get the heck out of there! Time to find something… less… religious. Maybe a museum? A park? I'm open to suggestions, as long as they involve minimal crowds.
12:00 PM: Lunch hunt. This time, I'm determined. I want something good. Somewhere with character, with actual flavor. And a view. The hunt continues, with Google Maps as my battle companion.
1:00 PM: Lunch. The burger place. It was so good I had to go back in a few hours to have another burger. It was seriously a highlight of the trip. I kind of loved it.
3:00 PM: Nap. Seriously. The temple, the burger, the jet lag… it all adds up to one giant urge for a nap. The plush hotel bed beckons…
5:00 PM: Evening. Decide to head to a local brewery and sample some Utah beer.
7:00 PM: Dinner.
8:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Researching local events for tomorrow. The amount of information on the internet is overwhelming.
9:00 PM: Watch some television. Get my hopes up about the hotel hot tub.
10:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 3: Goodbye, Sandy! (Probably With Tears)
7:00 AM: Breakfast, same as yesterday. Though the scrambled eggs are a little less yellow, which, is good, I guess.
8:00 AM: Packing. It's the worst part of any trip. Remembering where I put everything, the existential dread of returning to real life - it's all quite a lot.
9:00 AM: One last walk around the neighborhood. Try to soak up the Utah vibes.
10:00 AM: Check out.
11:00 AM: Airport. TSA again. More airport stress.
1:00 PM: Plane. Home.
This is a starting point, a messy, honest, and hopefully funny taste of my trip. Who knows what kind of hilarious disasters (or unexpected moments of joy) will actually unfold? Life is too short to be perfectly planned, I guess. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pack. Wish me luck. I'll need it. And maybe a pack of gum. Airports are scary.
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So, like, what *is* this whole thing, anyway? Seriously. I'm lost.
Okay, fine. But why *this* setup? thing? Seems… complicated.
Look, I'm not a tech genius. I barely know the difference between HTML and… well, anything else techy. I just know the internet told me this is the "best" format for FAQs, whatever that means. And honestly? I wanted to try something *different*. I'm so over the overly clinical, perfect-looking websites. Let's embrace the mess! Let's celebrate the fact that I might accidentally type "their" instead of "there" and that's okay! (Probably. Maybe.) So, if this feels clunky, that’s me. If it works? Lucky guess!
Right, right... On to the actual topic: What Got You Started?
Ooooh, the "Origins" question! Okay, buckle up, because this is a story of pure, unadulterated chaos. It started with… a bad day, probably. Or maybe a good day! Honestly, I can never remember. But suddenly, there it was. Whatever "it" is. And somehow I thought, "Hey! I can talk about this! I'm practically an expert!" Okay I am not. But the thing is, I realized I had a ridiculous number of opinions. And someone had to hear them, right? (Right? Please tell me I'm right. It’s lonely in here!)
So you are telling me, you have a strong emotional connection to this?
"Strong" might be an understatement. It's more like...this thing *eats my brain alive* sometimes. It's a love-hate relationship. One minute I'm all, "Yes! I'm a creative genius!" the next I'm staring at the screen, questioning my life choices. It's a constant rollercoaster of doubt and fleeting moments of… uh… something. It’s exhilarating and a complete disaster at the same time. Is that a good thing? I have *no* idea.
What are your goals?
Honestly? To make it through the day. Kidding! Mostly. The real goals are to... get better at this, I guess. To articulate thoughts. To, somehow, not sound like a complete idiot. Also, a small part of me dreams of making someone, somewhere, smile. It would keep me going for a month. I'd be happy. And maybe, just maybe, to convince myself that everything isn’t totally pointless. That's a big ask, I know.
What are the biggest challenges?
Oh boy. Okay, the big ones... are probably, like, the sheer volume of information out there. It’s information overload! It's overwhelming! Also, those voices in my head. You know, the ones that love to whisper things like "you're not good enough" or "nobody cares." That's always fun. Finding what will work, what people want to see and enjoy. And, keeping it all consistent! That's a challenge in itself.
Is it really *worth it*?
Is it? That's the question, isn't it? I mean, some days, I look at this… this *thing* and I want to scream. I want to set it on fire. I want to run away and live in the woods. Other days… the good days… I feel a flicker of something. Pride? Satisfaction? Maybe just a momentary lapse in sanity. So, yeah. I guess it is. For now, at least. Ask me again tomorrow. The answer might be different.
Right, right... On to the actual topic: What Got You Started?
So you are telling me, you have a strong emotional connection to this?
What are your goals?
What are the biggest challenges?
Is it really *worth it*?
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