Escape to Chicagoland: Luxury Suites Await in Vernon Hills!
Escape to Chicagoland: Luxury Suites Await in Vernon Hills! - A Review That's Probably More Honest Than It Should Be
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea on Escape to Chicagoland in Vernon Hills. This isn't your typical, sterile travel blog review. I'm talking real-life experiences, messy emotions, and the kind of brutally honest opinions you only share with your closest friends (or, you know, the entire internet).
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- Keywords: Vernon Hills Hotels, Chicagoland Luxury Suites, Accessible Hotel, Spa Vernon Hills, Pool with a View, Restaurant Vernon Hills, Weekend Getaway Chicago, Family-Friendly Resort, Best Hotels Vernon Hills, Business Travel Chicago, Hotel Amenities Vernon Hills, Accessible Amenities Chicago, Anti-Viral Cleaning, Spa Day Chicago
- Title: Escape to Chicagoland: Luxury Suites Await in Vernon Hills! (The Honest Truth)
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of Escape to Chicagoland in Vernon Hills. Is it really luxury? Is it accessible? Does the pool actually have a view? Find out in this unfiltered take on the hotel experience, complete with quirks, flaws, and genuine human reactions.
Okay, let's get messy…
First Impressions: The "Luxury" Question Mark
Pulling up to the hotel, I was met with… well, let's just say the exterior didn’t scream "luxury." It's pleasant enough, don't get me wrong, but it definitely leans more "comfortable suburban hotel" than "opulent escape." The lobby, however, did have some pizzazz – a chandelier that probably cost more than my rent, and a general air of… trying hard. And I'm here for the effort!
Accessibility: The Good, the Okay, and the "Could Do Better"
This is a HUGE one for me, and I was genuinely curious. They really touted their accessibility features.
- Wheelchair Accessible: The website promised it, and thankfully, they delivered. Wide hallways, ramps where needed, and rooms built for accessibility (more on those later). Bonus points!
- Elevator: Duh, but it's important. Everything was easily reachable.
- Rooms: Here’s where things got interesting. The accessible room was… functional. The bathroom was spacious, with grab bars (crucial!), but the overall aesthetic was a bit, well, bland. It felt less "luxurious accessible suite" and more "hospital room chic." Still, the important stuff was there, and it did work, so I'm not complaining too loudly.
- On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Okay, this is a big win. The main restaurant (more on that later) had plenty of space, and the staff were helpful.
- Accessibility Overall Grade: B+. They're trying, and that's what counts. Just some style upgrades would be nice.
The Room: My Temporary Fortress
My suite (non-accessible, just for a change of pace) was… well-equipped. Let's break it down:
- Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (thank god!), alarm clock (who even uses those?), bathrobes (always appreciated!), bathroom phone (I'm not sure I'll ever call that one), bathtub (yay!), blackout curtains (sleep is sacred), coffee/tea maker (essential for survival), complimentary tea (fancy!), daily housekeeping (bless those angels), desk (for pretending to work), extra long bed (hello, space!), free bottled water (hydration stations!), hair dryer (a must!), in-room safe box (peace of mind!), internet access – wireless (duh), ironing facilities (wrinkle-free, baby!), laptop workspace, mini bar (temptation!), non-smoking (thank you!), on-demand movies (Netflix and chill, but in a hotel), private bathroom (yes!), refrigerator (snacks!), satellite/cable channels (options!), seating area (lounging!), separate shower/bathtub (luxury!), slippers (slippery!), smoke detector (safety first!), socket near the bed (amen!), soundproofing (essential!), telephone (call the front desk!), toiletries (convenient!), towels (fluffy!), wake-up service (for the chronically late!), Wi-Fi [free] (praise be!), window that opens (breaths of air!).
- The Bad: Some of the furniture looked a little… tired. And the TV remote? Let's just say technology and I still aren't best friends. But honestly, for a place to crash, it did the trick.
- The Impracticalities: A closet big enough to house a small family. An assortment of pillows that rivaled the Everest range. Why a scale in the room? "Hey, let's see how much weight I gained from this weekend!"
- Room Cleanliness: Spotless. Really, REALLY clean. The anti-viral cleaning products are definitely doing their job.
The Spa: My Personal Heaven (Kind Of)
Okay, the spa… this is where things got good, and then… a little weird.
- Spa/sauna: The sauna was legit!
- Pool with view: The pool had a view.
- Body scrub/wrap/massage: I booked myself a massage, and it was everything I wanted. I wish I could bottle the bliss of that moment and sell it.
- Gym/fitness: There was a fitness center (I didn't go. Judge me if you must).
- The Imperfection: The lounge area was a bit… sterile. Like, zen in a hospital waiting room kind of sterile. And the music! Seriously, what is it with spas and generic elevator music? I almost lost it.
Dining: Tastes of Average, With the Occasional Surprise!
- Restaurants: The main restaurant offered a mixed bag. The setting was lovely, with plenty of space for accessible dining. The menu had something for everyone, but nothing that truly blew my mind (International cuisine in the restaurant).
- Breakfast [buffet]: The breakfast buffet was your standard hotel fare. Bacon, eggs, pastries… all perfectly acceptable. Nothing to write home about, but I definitely filled up
- The Good: The waitstaff were friendly and attentive. I particularly loved the coffee shop in the lobby. The bar had a great happy hour.
- The Meh: Room service was a bit slow.
- The Weird: One night, I ordered a soup that tasted suspiciously like… dish soap. I swear! I didn’t complain, because, well, awkward conversation.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag of Helpful and…Unnecessary?
- The Good: Daily housekeeping, concierge, laundry service. Basically, all the things you need to feel pampered. The staff were generally helpful, and the check-in/out was smooth.
- The Confusing: A gift shop selling… well, I'm not entirely sure what. Some of the prices were, shall we say, ambitious, and no one was ever in there.
- The "Why?": A business center. Who uses a business center anymore? (Okay, maybe some people, but still…)
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe, But Maybe a Little Too Safe?
- The hotel was obsessed with cleanliness and safety, and I appreciated it. They took COVID protocols seriously (Staff trained in safety protocol). Everything was sanitized (Rooms sanitized between stays), which made me feel comfortable. However, sometimes it felt a little… clinical. I'm all for safety, but maybe a little less hand sanitizer stations and a little more… personality?
- Also, the CCTV in all common areas made me feel like I was constantly being watched.
For the Kids: A Family-Friendly Vibe (If You Have Kids)
- The hotel had kids facilities (the pool, a game room) and babysitting services (I don't have kids, so I can't give a detailed opinion).
- Family/child friendly, kids meal: This is all very good, but I didn't have any kids, so I can't tell you what they exactly did.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy
- Car park [free of charge]: Free parking is always a win!
- Airport transfer, taxi service, valet parking: easy access to a taxi and if needed, they can get you to the airport!
The Verdict: Is It Worth the Escape?
Escape to Chicagoland in Vernon Hills is a solid choice. It's not perfect, but it's comfortable, reasonably accessible, and has some genuinely enjoyable amenities. The staff are friendly, the rooms are well-equipped (if not a little bland), and the spa offers a much-needed dose of relaxation. It's a good option for a weekend getaway, or a business trip. Just don’t expect pure, unadulterated luxury. Expect a solid, well-run hotel with some quirks and imperfections, because, let’s be honest, what hotel isn’t like that?
Would I go back? Absolutely. Maybe I'll actually try the gym next time. (Maybe not.) 7.5/10.
Sturbridge Escape: Adults-Only Luxury & Romance Awaits (MA)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! We're about to embark on a truly epic (and probably slightly disastrous) journey through Vernon Hills, Illinois… from the slightly stained carpet of my Extended Stay America suite, no less. This isn’t your airbrushed Instagram travelogue, folks. This is the raw, unfiltered, probably-should-have-packed-more-underwear edition.
Trip: Vernon Hills Volatility - A Saga of Suburban Survival
Accommodation: Extended Stay America Select Suites - Chicago - Vernon Hills - Lincolnshire Vernon Hills (IL) - Pray for me.
Days 1-3: Arrival, Adjustment, and the Illusion of Control (a.k.a. The “Clean” Days… probably)
- Morning 1 (The God-Awful Arrival): Landed. Luggage lost (shocking, I know). Mild panic attack in the O'Hare baggage claim. Managed to find a ride-share that didn't look too murder-y. Checked into the Extended Stay. My first thought? "Wow, this is…beige." The beige is pervasive. The air smells faintly of…something. Maybe sadness? Maybe aggressively cleaned carpets? Either way, it’s a vibe. Unpacked (eventually). Found a small grocery store nearby, started my trip with ice cream and chips (all of which I managed to fit in that lost luggage) because self is worth it.
- Afternoon 1 (The Great Grocery Grab): Armed with a list and a desperate need for caffeine, I ventured forth. Found a Jewel-Osco, which felt strangely exhilarating. My first encounter with Illinois produce. The apples were… crispier than I'm used to? Spent way too long debating between the "family size" and the "get-over-it" bag of chips. Opted for "get-over-it." Good choice. Ate three quarters of the bag.
- Evening 1 (The Quest for a Decent Meal): I attempted to order food. After a moment of thinking what and where to eat, I decided for a pizza since it's a great start. Pizza was ordered, but the restaurant called, "Unfortunately, the delivery is unavailable, the closest pickup location is 15 minutes away."
- Morning 2 (The Vernon Hills Vibe Check): Walked around the area. Nothing to write home about. Nothing to write anything. But on the bright side, no one bothered me while walking.
- Afternoon 2 (Doing the Laundry): It's not a bad thing to do laundry, but the washing machine in the motel did the washing, for sure. Nothing to write home about.
- Evening 2 (More Eating): Pizza again. I thought, "I should order a different food." So I did it. I ordered something… different. Chicken wings and potato fries. Not the worst.
- Day 3 (The Deep Dive of the Area): Woke up at 9:30 am. Damn, that's late. I really needed to wake up earlier. I just let out a big yawn and got back to bed. "I NEED to get out of here. I'm going to look at the area." I got dressed, brought my phone, and went outside of the room. The walk was better than the previous one. I took a turn to the other side. There were plenty of restaurants. The best thing to do now is eating. I went inside the restaurant and ordered a big meal. I finished it. I felt like I have to stop thinking about it.
- Evening 3 (More Eating): Pizza again… Why am I eating pizza again?
Days 4-5: Uncovering Mysteries (and the Crushing Weight of Laundry Detergent)
- Day 4 (The "Actually Did Something" Day): I have to do something. I tried to go the museum nearby the area. But it was closed. I decided to go to the mall instead. Went inside of the mall. Spent an hour looking at everything. I found out some games in the mall. I went on it. It was fun. After going on the games, I ate something in the area.
- Evening 4 (The Laundry Rebellion): More laundry! The detergent smelled like a field of synthetic flowers that had been left out in the rain. I hate the smell. Did it anyway. Prayed the dryer wasn't going to consume my clothes. Somehow, everything emerged (mostly) intact. Victory!… in the face of a minor domestic crisis.
- Morning 5 (The Breakfast Debacle): Attempted to make breakfast in the "kitchenette." The coffee pot produced a lukewarm, vaguely brown liquid. Gave up and went for the instant oatmeal. It was… oatmeal. At least it (mostly) filled the void.
- Afternoon 5 (The Vernon Hills "Hidden Gems" Quest): "Hidden Gems?" I searched in the area. But there was nothing. "The next best thing is doing more actions." I called my friends. We played multiplayer games.
- Evening 5 (The Emotional Breakdown, Part 1): Sat in the room. It was all of the day. I just sat there and watched all kind of shows. It was fun, even if I felt… nothing.
Days 6-7: The Descent Into… Well, Whatever This Is
- Day 6 (The "I Can't Even" Day): Woke up. Looked at the ceiling. Questioned all my life choices. Considered ordering a pizza just to have something to look forward to. Didn't. Just…existed. I have nothing to do.
- Evening 6 (The Internet Addiction): Browsed the internet. Found a decent restaurant delivery service. I ordered something. I ate while browsing. I'm happy with it.
- Day 7 (The "Goodbye, Vernon Hills!" Day): Check out. (So excited to finally leave.) Said goodbye to the extended stay, promised myself I'd never eat another pre-packaged breakfast again. (Probably will.) Reflected on the absolute weirdness of this trip. What did I learn? That beige is a colour that haunts your dreams, and that even in the vast emptiness of the suburbs, you can still find a little bit of… well, something. Maybe it wasn’t a good something, but it was certainly something. Time to go home. And maybe, just maybe, book a real vacation next time.
- The Final Score: Vernon Hills: 0. Me: Still breathing. (Mostly.)
Final Thoughts:
Would I recommend this trip to a friend? Absolutely not. Would I recommend an Extended Stay America to anyone? Double-nope. But hey, I survived. And now, I have stories. And that’s the thing about travel, isn’t it? It's not always perfect. It's often messy. It's sometimes emotionally exhausting. But, in the end, it becomes a part of you. And for that, I guess, it’s all worth it. Now, where's the remote? I'm going to watch TV. Maybe pizza is in order…
Perry, IA's Hidden Gem: Unbelievable Super 8 Deal!
Escape to Chicagoland: Luxury Suites Await in Vernon Hills! - FAQs...Sort Of.
Okay, so, *Escape to Chicagoland: Luxury Suites Await in Vernon Hills!* … sounds kinda fancy, right? Like, "Oh, I'm too good for the Motel 6, darling, I *need* a luxury suite!" Well, let's get real. I've stayed in some *places* in my life. And let me tell you, "luxury" can mean anything from "slightly nicer than a prison cell" to "OMG, I hope I can afford this." So, let’s tackle this, shall we? This isn’t a slick brochure. This is… well, you'll see.
1. What *exactly* constitutes "luxury" in Vernon Hills? Seriously, spill the tea.
Alright, fine. The "luxury" is… relative. My experience? It's generally a step above the budget hotels. Expect things like a bigger TV (maybe even *two*!), a mini-fridge (essential for late-night snack raids), and a bathroom where you don't feel like you're showering in a submarine. Honestly? Compared to some places I’ve been, I was pretty darn happy with that fluffy robe. That robe was a *godsend* after a long day of… well, whatever your reason is for being in Vernon Hills. Let's just say, sometimes, a fluffy robe is enough. It was soft, I tell you! SO soft! I may have stolen borrowed it. *cough* (Just kidding. Mostly.)
But don’t go expecting gold-plated faucets and a butler. This ain't the Ritz. Think "comfortably modern" rather than "palatial estate." And for the love of all that is holy, *check the reviews*. Seriously. Because what one person considers "luxurious" another might deem "slightly less depressing than my own apartment." I learned the hard way about a "luxury suite" that had the world's loudest air conditioner. Couldn't sleep *at all*. Pure torture.
2. Is Vernon Hills… Boring? I mean, what's there to *do*?
Okay, look. Vernon Hills isn't exactly the pulsating heart of vibrant nightlife. If your idea of a wild weekend is "finding a decent cup of coffee" and "not getting lost in a strip mall," then you're in luck! It's a… functional place. Think of it as the launching pad for adventures elsewhere. Major shoutout to the Hawthorn Mall, though. It's a mall. A MALL! (I have a shopping problem, ok? Don’t judge.) You can get literally anything there. Anything, right? Well, almost. I desperately needed a specific kind of artisanal cheese, and… nope. No joy. But the point is, it's got stuff. Also, depending on what you're *doing* in Chicagoland (work, visiting family *shudder*, or maybe something exciting like… I don't know, attending a conference about… *yarn*?) Vernon Hills is actually *convenient*. Good *location* is the real luxury here.
And for the outdoorsy types… well, there are parks. I think? I admittedly spent most of my time indoors. The idea of "nature" after a day of aggressive browsing in a mall… not my idea of relaxation. So, you know, probably worth checking TripAdvisor. Don't be like me. Embrace the green. Unless, of course, you're allergic. Then, stay indoors. With the air conditioner, of course.
3. What about food? Are we talking microwaved gas station burritos?
Okay, let's be honest, the microwaved burrito situation is a real fear. And sometimes, that fear… materializes. But Vernon Hills has *options*. Not necessarily Michelin-starred, mind you. But you can find a decent chain restaurant, a local diner (always a good bet), and maybe even something genuinely interesting if you do your research. I had a surprisingly good burger at… well, never mind. I’m trying to forget the name. My memory is not my strongest suit, especially after a sugar rush. Anyway, point is, there *is* food.
And the thing about chain restaurants? Reliability. You know what you're getting. Sometimes, that's a comfort. Especially when you're exhausted from navigating traffic, or having to talk to relatives. If I'm being honest, finding a *bad* chain restaurant burger is a skill. I failed to find one! (Not complaining.)
4. The location, Location, LOCATION! How far is it from… you know, *stuff*? Like, Chicago itself?
Okay, this is the big one. Vernon Hills is… not *in* Chicago. It’s… *outside* Chicago. Think of it as a strategic base camp. How far? Depends. Traffic is your enemy. I repeat, *traffic is your enemy*. Google Maps said 45 minutes. Google Maps lies. Count on at least an hour, possibly more, depending on the time of day and the whims of the gods of the highway. I once spent two hours stuck in bumper-to-bumper gridlock. Two hours! I could have walked to Chicago faster! (Okay, maybe not. But the frustration felt the same.)
The train is an option, but you will need a taxi or ride-sharing service to the station. Look into it, it beats staring at brake lights. It may not be glamorous, but it gets you downtown without the existential dread of the Kennedy Expressway. Consider the train. Seriously. Please.
5. Anything I should absolutely avoid? Like, are there any hidden traps?
Okay, my personal "avoid at all costs" list? Well, that depends on *you*. But here are some universal truths:
- Overpacking. Believe me, a weekend in Vernon Hills does *not* require a ball gown. Or, a yacht. Unless… you have a yacht, in which case, more power to you. But I doubt you're reading this.
- Making assumptions about the weather. Chicago weather is a fickle beast. Pack layers. Seriously. Even in July, you might need a sweater. I’ve learned this the hard way. Freezing. Absolutely freezing!
- Ignoring parking restrictions. Those meters aren't kidding around. I learned this the hard way. (See a pattern here?)
- Assuming "luxury suite" means "luxury experience." As stated above. Manage your expectations. Fluffy robe. Mini fridge. These are the victories. Celebrate them.
- Buying something you don't need. I buy stuff when I'm bored. It's a problem. Don't be me.
And my absolute biggest piece of advice? Pack your patience. With traffic, with the unexpected, with everything. Because sometimes, the "escape" isn't the destination. It's the getting there… mostly. And hey, even if you don't find actual "luxury," at least you'll have aDelightful Hotels
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