Chicago's Hottest Downtown Courtyard: River North Luxury Awaits!
Chicago's Hottest Downtown Courtyard: River North Luxury Awaits! - A Review from a Real Person, Not a Robot
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a whirlwind trip to Chicago and stayed at… well, you know, that River North Courtyard everyone’s been buzzing about. "Luxury Awaits!" they promised. Did it deliver? Let’s just say my credit card is still shuddering, and my opinion is… complicated.
First Impressions & the Whole Accessibility Thing (Important!):
Right, so, first things first: Accessibility. Look, I don't need a wheelchair (thank the heavens), but I appreciate good design. And this place, mostly, nails it. The elevator is spacious, the hallways are wide, and the lobby… well, the lobby is pure, unadulterated gorgeousness. Seriously, I almost tripped over my own feet ogling the chandeliers. They had a good setup for accessibility and I saw some of the staff helping guests.
Internet, Internet, EVERYWHERE! (Plus Some Grumbles):
Okay, so the Internet. This is vital, people. Gotta stay connected, right? They boast "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!," and it’s true. And hey, Internet [LAN] is there too, for those… dinosaurs… who still use wires. But, and here's a gripe, the signal strength in my room was… iffy. Kept dropping out when I was trying to upload that Instagram pic (you know, the "effortlessly chic in a hotel robe" one). Wi-Fi in public areas? Solid. The lobby was a digital den of connectivity, perfect for spying on other people's emails (kidding! Mostly).
The Things to Do & Ways to Relax. Or, My Spa-tastic Descent into Bliss (and a Little Disappointment):
Alright, the spa. This is where things got real good. They have a pool with a view, a sauna, a steamroom, the works. And the treatments? Oh. My. God. I got a massage that melted away a week’s worth of stress – the therapist, bless her hands, was like a magician with knots. I'm talking Body wrap territory, folks. I was so relaxed, I almost floated away. I even considered getting a Body scrub, but then I remembered I'm perpetually clumsy and probably would have ended up in the pool looking like a sand-covered idiot.
Speaking of the swimming pool, it was lovely, but… and here's my imperfection, the view, while good, wasn’t exactly… breathtaking. I've seen better rooftop views, if I'm being brutally honest.
They also have a Fitness center if you're into that whole "exercise while on vacation" thing. I am not. I glanced in, saw a bunch of sweaty people, and scurried back to the sanctuary of my fluffy robe.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe (Mostly):
Okay, COVID times. Cleanliness is a big deal. They had all the right buzzwords – Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas… you get the picture. The Staff trained in safety protocol seemed genuinely concerned, and that’s comforting. Hand sanitizer stations everywhere. All the usual stuff. Plus, Room sanitization opt-out was available, because some of us like a bit of chaos. Rooms sanitized between stays. Individually-wrapped food options… a good start. And yes, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter was, mostly, observed. I felt relatively safe. They even had Cashless payment service!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Foodie's Complicated Tale:
The Dining, drinking, and snacking situation was… a mixed bag. They have Restaurants, several actually, offering various cuisines. International cuisine in restaurant and Asian cuisine in restaurant. I sampled the salad and a soup from the restaurant. The Breakfast [buffet] looked impressive, with offerings from Asian breakfast to Western breakfast. I personally had the Western breakfast. The Breakfast takeaway service was a lifesaver for my early-morning excursions.
The Poolside bar? Excellent. The Happy hour was a happy hour indeed. And the Coffee/tea in restaurant was… adequate. But let's talk about the Snack bar. It was… well, it was a snack bar. Pretzels, chips, those depressing little sandwiches. If you're after a culinary adventure, this isn't it.
Oh, and room service! Room service [24-hour]! A godsend at 3 am after a night out.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter (and Some Missed Opportunities):
This is where the Courtyard really shines. The staff were mostly helpful and friendly. They have Concierge, Doorman, Daily housekeeping… basically, everything you'd expect from a place pretending to be a luxury experience.
Cash withdrawal? Check. Currency exchange? Check. Laundry service? Definitely check (thank GOD). Ironing service? Yep. Business facilities, Meetings, and Meeting/banquet facilities were all there for those of you who are actually working, not vacationing and eating the breakfast buffet.
However, I'm a sucker for a good souvenir/gift shop. This place didn’t have much. Zero points. It left me feeling a bit… empty.
For the Kids (And the Kid in You):
They were Family/child friendly. I didn't see much, mostly, you know, tired parents, but nothing to make me think it wasn’t. I did not experience any of the Kids facilities or Babysitting service.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy… Mostly:
Airport transfer? Yep. Car park [on-site]? Yep. Getting in and out of the place was easy, and they have Car park [free of charge], which is always a win.
The Room: My Serene(ish) Sanctuary:
My room? Ah, the room. Non-smoking (thankfully). Air conditioning (blessedly). Air conditioning in public area (also blessedly). Free bottled water (a life preserver). Hair dryer that actually worked (miracle!). Bathrobes (a must). Bathtub (luxury!). Blackout curtains (saviors of sleep). Coffee/tea maker (essential). Desk to use when I absolutely had to do some work Extra long bed (yay!). In-room safe box (always a good idea). Internet access – wireless (mostly working). Laptop workspace (handy). Mini bar (tempting). Refrigerator (useful). Satellite/cable channels (for mindless TV). Seating area (comfy for drinking coffee and watching shows). Separate shower/bathtub. Soundproofing (crucial in a city). Telephone (for emergencies). Toiletries (nice ones). Wake-up service (thank you, technology!).
The Little Quirks and Imperfections:
Here's the real kicker: I loved my room. It was clean, spacious, and the bed… oh, the bed. Cloud-like. But the window that opens? Didn't. Which always makes me feel a little trapped. Also, there was a faint, persistent smell of… something… in the hallway. Not unpleasant, just… there. And the artwork in my room was… well, let’s just say it wasn't exactly museum-quality. Did it matter? Not really. But it was there.
Final Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Look, despite the sniffles in the hallway, the mediocre snack bar, and the slightly lacking view from the pool, I had a fantastic time. The spa alone almost justifies the splurge. Yes, it's a bit pricey. Yes, it may not be perfect. But it's stylish, comfortable, convenient, and offers a genuine experience. It's close to everything you want to see in Chicago.
Would I go back? Probably. After I've recovered financially, of course. And after I've found a cure to the "effortlessly chic hotel robe" pose. Maybe then. Maybe then.
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Alright, buckle up buttercups! Because this isn't your grandpa's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is life, Chicago-style, filtered through the bleary eyes of someone who might need more coffee than a small city. We're talking Courtyard Chicago Downtown/River North – my temporary home, and the battleground for my sanity (kidding… mostly) for a few glorious days.
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Pizza Predicament (and a Side of "Ugh, Jet Lag")
1 PM: Arrival. (The Hype, the Reality, and the Airport Smell)
- Okay, so the hype was this: "Chicago! Magnificent Mile! Architecture! Deep Dish!" The reality? O'Hare airport, which smells suspiciously like a giant, lukewarm gym sock filled with airplane exhaust fumes. Bless the helpful TSA agent with the surprisingly vibrant lipstick. After a very long and stressful flight, I finally reached my hotel… but I was so tired.
2 PM: Hotel Mishaps & Room Revelations
- Check-in at the Courtyard. The polite smiles of the staff were a balm to my travel-weary soul. The room? Decent. Not the Ritz, but clean, and hey, a king-size bed beckoned. The imperfection? The air conditioning sounded like a dying walrus. I'll deal with it later. Right now, I need to plop myself on the bed and close my eyes, but sleep eluded me.
3 PM: The Great Pizza Predicament. (Deep Dish, or Regret?)
- The internet screamed, "DEEP DISH! YOU MUST HAVE DEEP DISH!" So, with that mantra echoing in my head, I consulted Yelp. Lou Malnati’s was the top recommendation, and I was in River North, so… I walked. It was freezing! When I arrived I found a giant line that I didn't want to wait in. Then, the quirky observation hit me: a group of tourists outside were taking pictures of the brick building.
4 PM: Decision Fatigue and the Quest for Sustenance.
- I was starving and indecisive, I just needed food, and I ended up at a random diner around the corner. The waitress had seen some stuff, I could tell. She was kind, and brought me a huge cup of coffee. It was perfect.
- Emotional Reaction: Pure, unadulterated relief. Coffee, hash browns, and a place to sit the exhaustion evaporated, a little.
5 PM: The Architecture Tour Debacle-ish (and Maybe a Nap?)
- Architecture boat tour! (Planned, remember? The semblance of a plan?) Unfortunately, the jet lag hit me hard. I was the only one looking like a zombie and falling asleep during the tour. At the end, I got off the boat, feeling a wave of confusion, and went straight back to the hotel for a nap.
7 PM: Evening Ramblings
- Woke up. Okay, so the nap worked… sort of. I headed out to explore the area, wandering aimlessly, soaking in the neon glow of the city, and got a great dinner. This city is just… something.
Day 2: Art, Alleys & the Pursuit of the Perfect Chicago Dog
9 AM: The Magnificent Mile (and the Impracticality of Window Shopping)
- Breakfast at the hotel - standard. Then, the Magnificent Mile! The stores were shiny, the displays tempting. But I'm on a budget! I feel bad for the people who have to work there every day.
- Opinionated Language: It's impressive, but it's also a bit… much. Like, how many designer handbags can one person realistically need?
10 AM: The Art Institute (Lost in a Sea of Masterpieces)
- The Art Institute. Okay, I AM NOT a museum person, but the place is amazing. I spent hours admiring the art.
- Emotional Reaction: Overwhelmed, but in a good way. Lost in the brushstrokes of Rembrandt, and feeling ridiculously inadequate compared to the artistic geniuses of yore.
1 PM: The Quest for the Authentic Chicago Dog (Part 1)
- Headed towards River North by foot. Google directed me to Hot Doug’s. Turns out, it's closed. Disaster. The first, major, Chicago food fail.
- Imperfection: My stomach growled.
2 PM: Wandering and Wondering
- I had a nice stroll and decided to just keep walking, and got lost in some alleyways.
3 PM: The Pursuit of the Authentic Chicago Dog (Part 2)
- Decided to keep the Chicago dog hunt going. I ended up at a place called Portillo's. It didn't have the "dive bar" feel of the smaller places, but the dog was good.
7 PM: Evening Exploration (with a dash of Self-Doubt)
- Had a few drinks at a local bar, chatting with some locals. They warned me about the winter, and I started to second-guess whether I could handle it.
- Stream-of-Consciousness: Maybe I'm just a tourist. Maybe I'm not cut out for the gritty details of this life. The thought disappeared as soon as it arrived. I'm here to exist.
- I went back to the hotel, exhausted, but happy.
Day 3: Museums, Music, and (Hopefully) a Smooth Departure
9 AM: The Shedd Aquarium (Fishy Fun)
- Breakfast. Then, the Shedd Aquarium. It's awesome to see these creatures move with such grace and be able to witness them up close.
- Quirky Observation: A kid tried to lick the glass.
11 AM: The Bean (and the Selfie Struggle)
- Cloud Gate (The Bean). The obligatory photo op! The reflective surface! The masses of people! It took a while to get my own good picture.
- Emotional Reaction: Annoyance mixed with awe. The chaos is part of the charm, I guess.
1 PM: Lunch and Music (and maybe some blues)
- Some pizza, finally!
3 PM: Departure Prep (and the inevitable packing chaos)
- Time is ticking. Time to gather my things.
- Messier Structure: I've been here for three days. I feel like it's been a lifetime.
4 PM: Departure
- The airport, round 2. This time, I feel like a Chicago native.
- Goodbye, Chicago. You were a wild ride.
This "itinerary" might not be perfect, but it's mine. And that's what makes it fun. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a very large coffee.
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River North Luxury Awaits? Let's Dive In (and Maybe Cry a Little)
Okay, so River North…is it *really* as amazing as the brochures say?
Ugh, the brochures. They're *lying* (mostly). Look, River North is… complicated. Yes, it's got the high-end shopping, the Michelin-starred restaurants, the *gorgeous* buildings. But it's also… crowded. Like, elbow-to-your-kidney crowded on a Saturday night. And expensive. I'm talking “should I sell a kidney to afford a decent cocktail” expensive. I remember this one time… ugh. I was trying to impress this date (who promptly ghosted me, naturally). We were at a fancy Italian place – *which I can't even afford to look at again now* - and the waiter dropped the bread basket. Like, *right* in my lap. My date… laughed. And the bread? It was… *artisanal* bread, mind you. Harder than concrete. So, amazing? Debatable. Good for potential existential crises? Definitely.
What's the deal with the "Courtyard"? Is it like, a real, actual, relaxing courtyard? Or...?
Okay, the courtyard. This is where things get… interesting. The *idea* is lovely, right? A green oasis amidst the concrete jungle. In reality? It's often a war zone of Instagrammers, screaming children (I say that with love, mostly), and people making phone calls as loud as possible. I've seen dogs with better manners than some people in that courtyard, I'll tell you. Now, I had this fantasy of reading a book there, sipping a latte, feeling all Zen. Instead? I'm usually dodging rogue scooters and listening to some dude loudly negotiate his next deal on a Bluetooth earpiece. One time, a pigeon pooped on my newspaper. Zen, achieved!
Is the shopping actually any good, or is it all just stuff I can't afford?
Oh, the shopping. Prepare to weep, my friend. It's both amazing and utterly soul-crushing. Amazing because, yes, there's *everything*. Designer boutiques, high-end department stores… your eyes will glaze over from the sheer gorgeousness of it all. Like, I saw a scarf once that probably cost more than my car. Soul-crushing because, unless you're independently wealthy (and let's be honest, most of us aren't), it's mostly a "look but don't touch" situation. I once walked into a store (after accidentally bumping into a glass, obviously) and felt so out of place, I practically levitated out. I did buy a cheap pair of earrings at H&M just to feel *something*. So, good? Yes. Accessible to the average human? Debatable. But hey, window shopping is free, right?
What are the best restaurants in River North – *without* breaking the bank… or is that even possible?
Alright, restaurants. This is a tough one, because "affordable" in River North is a relative term. You *can* find some gems, but you gotta know where to look. Forget Michelin Stars for now. The key is happy hours, lunch deals, and maybe… sneaking in some snacks beforehand (kidding… mostly). I've had some pretty good luck with… oh god, I'm blanking. Ugh, *pressure*. Okay, there's this one place… Ummm… it's got… *pizza*. Okay, that's not helpful is it? I remember one dim sum spot that wasn't *entirely* bank-breaking. It's called something like "… *Dim Sum… Deluxe?* ". Or maybe it was the beer... Look, just search online, okay? And prepare to eat a lot of ramen for a week afterwards. Honestly, I love ramen. It's the best. Okay, focus! The search tools… use them! *Deep breaths*. I'm clearly not the best restaurant critic, but I'm honest!!
Is it safe? I've heard stories…
Safety. Okay. Let's be real. Big city, right? So, yeah, you need to be aware of your surroundings, especially at night. Petty theft happens everywhere. Use common sense. Don't flash cash. Try not to walk alone at 3 AM, especially after a few too many drinks (been there, done that, got the panicked Uber bill). But honestly, River North is generally pretty well-lit, and there are people *everywhere*. I've never personally felt *unsafe*, but that doesn't mean it's a perfect, crime-free utopia. This one time, I was getting out of a cab… and this guy was staring at me. He looked… intense. I sped-walked to the nearest well-lit bar and huddled inside. Probably paranoid. But better safe than… you know. Just… be smart. And if you get spooked, there are always police officers. Just don't annoy them!
What about the nightlife? Can I ACTUALLY dance or am I going to get judged for wearing jeans?
Nightlife! This is where River North *shines* (literally, with all the flashing lights and sparkly outfits). Yes, you can actually dance. Yes, you might get judged for wearing jeans. It depends on the place. Some places are all about the bottle service and the "look" (which I personally find exhausting, but to each their own). Other places? More relaxed. There's a decent mix, really, from upscale cocktail bars to more casual pubs. My advice? Do some research. Look up the dress code (ugh, the dress codes!). And maybe… just maybe… practice your dance moves beforehand. Because, trust me, you don't want to be the person awkwardly swaying in the corner. I speak from experience, sadly. I swear, I once saw a guy try to breakdance and he almost took out an entire champagne tower. Pure. Chaos. Oh, and if you're looking for a specific atmosphere… *do some research on Yelp*, people! It's like, the whole point of the internet, right?
Anything else I should know before diving in? Like, hidden gems or… traps?
Hidden gems… hmm. Okay. Okay. I think I'm getting it now to think on my feet. For hidden gems… I swear I saw some *amazing* pizza places. They are there. Somewhere. It's all a blur. Traps…? Oh, yes. Definitely. Beware the overly enthusiastic street vendors hawking… whatever they're hawking. And the lines… my GOD, the lines. If you see a really long line, unless you *really* want what's at the end ofEscape To Inns
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