Mall of America's BEST Kept Secret: This Bloomington Hotel Will Blow You Away!
Mall of America's BEST Kept Secret: This Bloomington Hotel Will Blow You Away!… Maybe. (A Frankly Honest Review)
Okay, so, I’ve been tricked. Lied to. Bamboozled by a headline that screams “BEST Kept Secret!” because, frankly, the secret isn't that it exists, it's whether or not it’s worth the hype. This Bloomington hotel, conveniently located near the Mall of America (MOA – because, let's be real, we're all abbreviating), promised a whirlwind of pampering and convenience. Did it deliver? Well, buckle up, buttercups, because this is gonna be a bumpy ride.
First Impressions (and the Existential Dread of the Lobby)
Finding the place wasn’t too hard. It's big enough to be noticeable, small enough (thankfully) to avoid wandering through endless hallways. As you'd expect, it's got a fairly generic hotel lobby. Cleanish. Modern-ish. Functional. No dramatic sweeping staircase. No jaw-dropping art. Just… a lobby. I swear, hotels have a weird fascination with beige.
Accessibility & Safety: (A Sigh of Relief, Mostly)
- Wheelchair accessible: Checked. Ramps, elevators, the whole shebang. Crucial.
- Elevator: Obviously. Because, duh.
- CCTV in common areas/outside: Good to see. Not exactly thrilling, but essential.
- Fire extinguisher, smoke alarms, security, etc.: Yep, all present and accounted for. This felt good actually – it wasn’t just a box-ticking exercise. Made me feel…safe-ish.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, professional sanitizing, etc.: Okay, this is where it got intriguing. Post-COVID, everyone’s pretending to be a clean freak. They said they'd sanitized the room, and I think I saw the cleaning lady do a good job, this time around.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Hopefully! I assume they were. Let's hope the training wasn’t just a PowerPoint presentation delivered by someone who clearly hated their job.
- Hand sanitizer… everywhere: Alright, this is the new normal. Prepare your palms.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: They actually gave me the option to not sanitize the room? This is an interesting take.
Rooms: (The Good, the Beige, and the Slightly Odd)
- Air conditioning in all rooms: My savior. Minnesota summers can be brutal.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms: YES. Praise the Wi-Fi gods. Essential for binge-watching questionable documentaries.
- Air conditioning, alarm clock, bathtub, blackout curtains, coffee/tea maker, desk, etc.: all the usual suspects. Standard hotel fare.
- Extra long bed: Amen! I’m tall(ish). Finally, a bed where my feet don't dangle off the edge.
- Hair dryer… and other bathroom things: (shrugs) It worked.
- Non-smoking rooms: Definitely a plus. Nobody wants to smell stale cigarette smoke.
- Room decorations: Minimalist. Beige. (See a theme?)
- Safe box: I did stash my passport. Better safe than, you know, passport-less.
- Soundproofing: Surprisingly decent. I didn't hear my neighbors' questionable karaoke attempts.
- Free bottled water: Always appreciated. Staying hydrated is a winning strategy.
- TV, internet access, etc.: Standard and effective.
But here's the thing… My first room, let's just say, wasn't perfect. The water pressure in the shower was equivalent to a hesitant kitten’s dribble. I called down, and after a bit of huffing, and a tiny bit of drama (I am not proud to say), they moved me. The second room? Better. Not perfect. But better. This whole experience made me realize how reliant I’d become on “perfect” expectations.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: (The Ups and Downs of the Buffet)
- Restaurants/Bar/Coffee Shop/Poolside Bar: Yup, all there (even that poolside bar, which did seem a bit…desolate).
- Breakfast [buffet]: This is where the real drama began! The breakfast buffet was… a battlefield. The food, on one particular morning, was a mixed bag. The waffles? Crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside. Genius. The eggs? Questionable. They tasted suspiciously like… rubber. The coffee? Drinkable. The atmosphere? Chaotic. This part of the hotel's game was still developing.
- Breakfast in room, Room service [24-hour]: These services felt like the winners.
- Happy hour: Standard. Nothing to write home about, but hey, free (ish) drinks.
- Alternative meal arrangement, Vegetarian restaurant: Good to see options. Even I was getting tired of the sausages.
- The snack bar: Very standard, so I was not particularly interested
Services and Conveniences: (The Practicalities and the Perks)
- Concierge: Helpful, but maybe a little… bland? Like, I asked for a recommendation, and he suggested the obvious thing. Didn't even try to sell me something slightly offbeat.
- Daily housekeeping: My room was consistently cleaned with a dedication I could only dream of achieving in my own apartment.
- Currency exchange: Not something I needed - but useful.
- Luggage storage: Super convenient.
- Cash withdrawal: (again: standard).
- Facilities for disabled guests: Looked well thought out. So important.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: (The Spa, the Gym, and the Quest For Inner Peace)
- Fitness center/Gym/Spa/Sauna/Pool with view: Okay, here's where things got interesting. The fitness center was pretty standard. Treadmills, weights, the usual suspects. But the spa? Now that was intriguing.
- Massage/body scrub/body wrap/foot bath: I splurged and booked a massage. And it was… marvelous. Like, the best massage of my entire life. The masseuse was a true artist. I floated out of there like a cloud. Pure bliss while I relaxed in the sauna afterwards.
- Swimming pool (outdoor): Now the pool, that's a separate saga. I tried to relax by the pool. However, there was a flock of small (but loud) children, screaming and playing. Despite the "pool with a view" claim, my view was mostly blocked by screaming kids. (This is where my personal relaxation died).
- Steamroom: Definitely worth it to steam out, and get into the sauna after a workout.
For the Kids: (Bless Their Little, Noisy Hearts)
- Babysitting service/Kids facilities/Kids meal: I didn't have any kids with me, but the hotel seemed child-friendly. Lots of families, and some kind of playroom setup.
Getting Around: (Mobility, Parking, and the Existential Dread of the Car)
- Car park [free of charge]/Valet parking: Free parking is always a win in my book.
- Airport transfer/Taxi service: All available.
- Car power charging station/Bicycle parking: Bonus points for catering to all forms of getting around.
Cleanliness and Safety: (The Hygiene Obsession of the 21st Century)
- Daily disinfection/room sanitization, etc.: They claimed to be extra careful. As mentioned earlier, I think they were doing a good job. But it's hard to know for sure. The lingering fear of germs will always leave us paranoid.
So, Does it Blow You Away? (The Verdict)
Honestly? No. Not really. This hotel isn't perfect. It has its flaws. But… it’s good. Really good. It’s a solid, reliable option. The location is killer. The massage was transcendental. The free parking a godsend. The staff, generally, were friendly and helpful. The buffet, well, the buffet is a work in progress.
Would I stay here again? Yes. Probably. Especially if they can guarantee me a different room the next time, and maybe a noise barrier around that pool. It’s a convenient, comfortable, and fairly well-run hotel. But "BEST Kept Secret?" Nah. It's just… a good hotel. And sometimes, that's all you need.
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- Title: Mall of America Hotel Review: Honest Take on Bloomington's Best Kept Secret?
- Meta Description: Unfiltered review of a Bloomington hotel near the Mall of America. From spa bliss to breakfast buffet chaos, find out if this "best kept secret" is worth the hype! Accessibility, amenities, and safety details included.
- Keywords: Mall of America, MOA, Bloomington hotel, hotel review, spa, massage, fitness center, accessibility, free Wi
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your average travel itinerary. This is a messy, emotional, and almost certainly caffeinated roadmap to surviving (and maybe even enjoying) a stay at the Residence Inn Bloomington by the Mall of America. Prepare for rambles, opinions, and the inevitable existential crisis brought on by a week spent staring into the abyss of consumerism that is the MOA.
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Mall of America Orientation
- Afternoon (late): Okay, so the flight was a disaster. Delayed. Turbulence. The screaming toddler situation was… well, let's just say I deserve multiple medals for not losing it. Finally, FINALLY, we land in Minneapolis. Snag the rental car – a slightly dented minivan, because apparently, "family-friendly" means "requires a vehicle capable of transporting a small herd of elephants." The drive to the Residence Inn Bloomington is thankfully uneventful. Check-in. The room? Fine. Standard. Functional. Kinda smells faintly of chlorine, but hey, character! Unpack. Immediately realize I've packed approximately 10% of what was needed. Panic sets in.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Okay, deep breaths. Mall of America, here we come. This is my primary goal here: to explore the MOA. This place is a freakin' city! Navigate the labyrinthine corridors. Hit up the guest info in the mall. Eat somewhere quick. Get some food, preferably something that doesn't involve a deep fryer (wishful thinking). I had a slice of pizza because, hey, I need energy to survive. Consider a brief exploration of Nickelodeon Universe (brief: I'm not a child, though sometimes I act like one when hungry). The crowds! The noise! The overwhelming amount of THINGS! I swear, I think my brain overloaded. By the end of the night I was completely lost. I need a map of the mall.
- Evening: Back at the Residence Inn. Collapse on the bed. Scour the local takeout menus. Order something that resembles food (maybe some kind of salad? I'm trying to be healthy!). Watch some mindless TV. Contemplate the meaning of life as I stare at the hotel room ceiling. Regret every life choice that led me to this point (mostly kidding… mostly).
Day 2: The Theme Park Trauma & Retail Therapy Recovery
- Morning: Breakfast at the Residence Inn-- the free continental breakfast situation. It’s fine, I guess. Cereal. Yogurt. That weird, rubbery-looking scrambled egg concoction. Fuel up for the day, need it if I'm going into Nickelodeon Universe again.
- Mid-Morning/Afternoon: Okay, here it is: Nickelodeon Universe. The promise of fun and… well, here's the thing: it was loud. Visually overwhelming. The rides… well, let's just say they were designed for people with a greater threshold for stomach-churning. The kids wanted to go on everything. The lines! Oh, the lines! I endured the roller coasters for them, and barely survived. The Spongebob ride? Never again. Never. As I stumbled out, slightly green around the gills, I realised I needed a strategy to deal with the park, but, I got through it.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Retail Therapy is a necessary form of self-care after Theme Park Trauma. Back to the Mall of America. Wandered around aimlessly trying to find the store I actually wanted to go in. Bought a new pair of shoes (because, obviously). Considered buying a diamond-encrusted… something. Decided against it. Spent an obscene amount of money on… well, stuff. Feeling a weird mix of elation and guilt. Dinner at a random restaurant in the mall. More people-watching. More pondering. Made my way back to the hotel. Collapse again.
Day 3: Aquarium Adventure & The "I Need a Break From Shopping" Crisis
- Morning: Sleep in! Needed. This is luxurious travel. Enjoy a few hours of not having to run around. Ate breakfast again.
- Mid-Morning/Afternoon: Sea Life at the Mall of America. Actually, this was kind of amazing. The jellyfish! The sharks! The tiny, adorable clownfish! I kind of forgot I was in a giant shopping mall for a little while. The tunnel walk through the shark tank was genuinely awe-inspiring. Feeling slightly less cynical about life.
- Afternoon/Early Evening: The "I Need a Break From Shopping" Crisis hits hard. Found myself wandering aimlessly near the hotel, because I wasn't sure where I wanted to go. Sat in a park, reading a book. Tried to breathe. Tried to think about something other than shopping. Considered another slice of pizza. Resisted the urge. Or, at least, delayed it. Maybe went for a walk. Maybe didn’t. Ended up going back to the mall because… well, it was there. I had a smoothie and started thinking a good thoughts.
- Evening: Hotel. Room service. This time I opted for a salad. Watched a cheesy movie. Finally, feel a smidge of relaxation.
Day 4: Exploring The Twin Cities (Maybe) & Hotel Laundry Shenanigans
- Morning: The dream of exploring the Twin Cities! Wake up still with the urge of retail therapy. Head out for the the day. Get some more gas and food.
- Mid-Morning: The car! I remember now why I hate driving in cities. The traffic! The confusing one-way streets! Abandoned the idea of navigating the urban jungle. Feeling a bit defeated.
- Afternoon: Back at the hotel, which doesn't mean back to relaxation. Laundry day. This is not as glorious as it might initially sound.
- Evening: The laundromat was a drama. Some poor soul had dyed all their clothes pink. Clothes not drying. Started making plans on how to survive the remainder of the trip.
Day 5: The Mall of America Marathon & Emotional Breakdown (in a good way)
- Morning: Slept in, again! So needed.
- Mid-Morning/Afternoon: Back to the mall. Spent hours just wandering. This is where the marathon kicks in. Found a store I liked. Felt a sense of contentment. Found another store. The thrill of the chase, the promise of a new… something.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: The emotional breakdown happened. I was walking through an area of the mall. Looking at the crowds. Thinking about how much time I've spent here this week. Feeling a mix of appreciation, exhaustion, and a touch of… dare I say it… joy? Yeah, maybe a little joy.
- Evening: Celebrate! Get that meal. Celebrate the end of this trip
- Late Evening: Pack. Realize I've overspent. Cry a little bit. Not seriously. Reconnect to family and friends.
Day 6: Departure (And the Aftermath)
- Morning: The final Residence Inn breakfast. Pack everything. Clean up the room. Check out. Say goodbye to the Mall of America (for now?). The flight is delayed. Again. More screaming toddlers. I survive.
- Afternoon: Home. Unpack. Do the laundry. Miss the noise of the mall and the chaos. Remember that it was worth it.
Observations & Quirky Reactions:
- The People-Watching: The Mall of America is a prime location for people-watching. There are people of every stripe, and their energy is infectious.
- The Bathroom Situation: Finding a clean, accessible bathroom in the MOA is a sport.
- The Food Court Glut: The food court is a glorious, terrible, overwhelming feast for the senses.
- Emotional Rollercoaster: Seriously, this trip was a rollercoaster of emotions.
- The "Minnesota Nice": Everyone I encountered was overwhelmingly nice. It was a little… suspicious, but appreciated.
- The existential crisis: Maybe it was the shopping, maybe it was the lack of sunlight, maybe it was the rubbery eggs, but I had one. It passed.
Final Thoughts:
This trip was messy. It was flawed. It was expensive. But it was also… something. I survived. I shopped. I ate pizza. I stared into the abyss of consumerism. I felt a range of emotions that ran through the spectrum. I leave the Residence Inn Bloomington and the Mall of America a slightly changed person. And, you know what? I wouldn't trade it for all the diamond-encrusted… well, you get the idea. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a nap. And possibly therapy. And definitely more coffee.
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Mall of America's "Best Kept Secret" Hotel: You THINK You Know, But...
Okay, spill. What's the *actual* name of this "secret" hotel? I'm not falling for another timeshare spiel.
Alright, alright, keep your horses! The hotel in question is... (drumroll, please – though honestly, it's *slightly* more known than I initially believed) ... the **Radisson Blu Mall of America**. Yep. *That* Radisson. Before you scoff, hear me out. I was skeptical too. I pictured bland hallways and overpriced continental breakfasts. I was WRONG. So, so wrong. I get it, Radisson Blu doesn't scream “Secret Hideaway.” But trust me, inside those walls, a magical, slightly chaotic wonderland awaits. It feels like you're entering another dimension.
Why is it considered such a "secret"? Isn't it, you know, attached to the mall?
Okay, so, "secret" is a bit of a hyperbole, I'll admit. It's more like... the hotel many people *overlook* because they're blinded by the glitz of the Nickelodeon Universe or the lure of the Cheesecake Factory. It's right *there,* folks! But, you know, people are easily distracted by giant rollercoasters and delicious, artery-clogging desserts. I think it’s also partially because the *experience* inside is so genuinely good that it feels like a secret you found. Like you're in on the joke. It feels like you're getting away with something, even though you're not. 🙄
What's the *best* thing about the Radisson Blu? Give me the juicy details.
Hands down, the **atmosphere**. Forget sterile hotel rooms; this place is all about personality! The decor is modern, vibrant, and... look, I'm not an interior design expert, but it *feels* cool. Like, you walk in, and your shoulders just relax. There's this amazing art installation made from, like, hundreds of colorful umbrellas hanging from the ceiling in the lobby. Seriously, I stood there for a solid five minutes just gawking. It’s a mood. (And yes, I took pictures. Obviously.) Plus, there's this bar called the FireLake Grill House & Cocktail Bar, which, and this is important, has *amazing* cocktails. Okay, maybe *that's* the best thing. The lobby, the bar, the whole vibe... it’s just… *chef’s kiss*.
Is the food *actually* any good? I've had some questionable hotel food experiences in my life...
Okay, this is HUGE. The FireLake restaurant, as I mentioned, and this is the hill I'm willing to die on, is phenomenal. I'm talking *legit* delicious. I had the walleye one night – which, if you're in Minnesota, you *have* to try – and it was cooked to perfection. Seriously, flaky, flavorful, not dry at all. And the cocktails? Yeah, again, mentioned. Beyond the restaurant, there's room service, which is always a win after a long day of shopping (or, let's be honest, fighting crowds at the mall). Are there food prices a bit insane? Yes. But the quality is, for me, worth it. I'm a food snob, so.
Okay, spill the tea on the location. Is it *actually* connected to the mall? Like, can I roll out of bed and be in Nordstrom?
Yep! You can *totally* roll out of bed (after, you know, showering and maybe eating breakfast… or not, no judgment) and be at the Mall of America in, like, five minutes. There's a dedicated entrance. It's a dream for shoppers (and maybe a nightmare for your bank account, but hey, you only live once, right?). I mean, think about it: you can shop 'til you drop, go back to your room to stash your bags, recharge, and then, BAM, back to the shops! It's dangerous. Utterly, wonderfully dangerous.
What about the rooms? Are they, like, standard hotel rooms or something special?
The rooms are… elevated. They’re not just cookie-cutter boxes. They actually *feel* thought out. There’s a modern, clean design, and the beds are… seriously plush. I sank right in. I'm not even kidding, the bed was the highlight! Okay, maybe it wasn't the *absolute* highlight. But it was damn good. Plenty of room to unpack my stuff, no feeling of being cramped. And, because it's the Blu, they have some really cool suite options, including ones with views overlooking the park. The bathrooms are also pretty great. Big showers. Everything you need.
Is it kid-friendly? Because I'm probably bringing a small army.
Yes, it is kid-friendly! Honestly, I've seen more families at this hotel than I count, but, there is a certain… mature aspect to the hotel. It's not, like, *over-the-top* kid-focused. (Which, for a tired parent, is a nice break). They have connecting rooms, which is a lifesaver. And the proximity to the mall is a huge perk for parents. And the pool! I'm not sure if the pool is huge, but it's indoors. I'd probably bring the small army regardless.
What's the biggest downside? Let's be real, there's *always* a catch.
Okay, the "catch"... prices. It's not a budget hotel. Especially during peak season (aka, when the MOA is *packed*), it can get pricey. It's a trade-off. You pay for the convenience, the comfort, and the overall experience. But honestly? For me, it's worth it. Unless you're on a shoestring budget, and in that case, good luck.
What about the spa and fitness center? Are those any good?
Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! There's a spa. I, personally, didn't get to experience it, because I was too busy shopping and eating (priorities!). But, I heard great things. And the fitness center is… a fitness center. I’m not a gym person, so your mileage may vary, but it seemed well-equipped. They have nice toiletries, too. I like nice toiletries.
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Residence Inn Bloomington by Mall of America Bloomington (MN) United States
Residence Inn Bloomington by Mall of America Bloomington (MN) United States
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