Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort: Your Shakopee Getaway Awaits!
Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort: My Shakopee Getaway - A Wild Ride (and I'm Still Recovering!)
Alright, deep breaths. I’m back from Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort in Shakopee, Minnesota, and honestly? My legs are still screaming. This place… it's a whole experience, a glorious, chaotic, calorie-burning experience. Let’s just dive in, shall we? Forget perfect order, this is gonna be a rollercoaster of a review, just like the park itself.
SEO & Metadata Snippet (Before We Get REALLY Messy):
- Title: Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort Review: Rollercoasters, Relaxation, and Real-Life Adventures!
- Keywords: Valleyfair, Shakopee, Minnesota, Hotel Review, Thrills and Lodge, Amusement Park, Rollercoasters, Spa, Swimming Pool, Family Friendly, Accessibility, Dining, Safety, Wi-Fi, Fitness Center.
- Description: A brutally honest and hilarious review of Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort in Shakopee, Minnesota. Discover the highs, the lows, the unexpected delights, and the moments I almost lost my lunch (literally!). Featuring insights on accessibility, dining, safety protocols, and whether it lives up to the hype.
Alright, Now Let's Get Real… Starting with the Stuff that Matters (To Me at Least):
Accessibility: Okay, so I don't need a wheelchair, but I always appreciate a place doing it right. Valleyfair's commitment here is… decent. I saw ramps everywhere, the elevator was easy to locate, and the staff seemed genuinely helpful. However, I didn’t live the fully accessible life. I overheard a guest complain about the park’s accessibility on a crowded day, so I'll leave this for others to truly review. Still, good on them for TRYING.
Wheelchair Accessible: See above. Definitely worth checking out the specifics before booking, especially if you require a fully accessible experience.
Internet Access: Okay, this is important. We’re talking about life or death. (kidding… mostly). Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Though, let's be honest, it went out a couple of times… but it's the thought that counts, right? Internet [LAN]? Hah! I wasn't even sure what that was before I wrote this review. I'm all about the Wi-Fi [free]. This is 2024, people.
Services and Conveniences: Air conditioning in public areas: Praise be! Minnesota summers are no joke. Dry Cleaning: Never used it – I was in adventure-wear for the whole trip. Elevator: Crucial. Luggage storage: Clutch! Especially after surviving the Renegade. Daily Housekeeping: My room was spotless. And I am not easy to impress. They even tidied up my mess of discarded snack wrappers, which was a small miracle. Concierge: They were super helpful with recommendations, especially for figuring out the, uh, "best" order of the rollercoasters to minimize the vomit factor.
Dining, drinking, and snacking: Restaurants are a plus, bar is a definite yes! Poolside bar? Genius! Coffee/tea in the restaurant saved me in the mornings. Room service [24-hour] never used it but it's comforting knowing it's there for Emergency Pizza. Snack bar was crucial to keep the fam fed. Happy Hour made the end of the day tolerable after the thrill rides. Alternative meal arrangement and Vegetarian Restaurant are great options.
The Rollercoaster of a Stay: My Personal Dive
Okay, let's talk about the real reason I went: the thrill rides. After a morning battling the line for the Renegade, I can't lie, I felt like I was gonna lose it. A quick pitstop at the Snack bar was necessary for sanity. But I needed Coffee/tea in the restaurant. After downing a mountain of fries and a caffeine hit, I was ready to tackle High Roller. The thing that got me through was the thought of the Poolside bar at the end of the day. My Room Sanitization opt-out available was helpful!
Safety & Sanitation (Because, You Know, Life in 2024):
- Cleanliness and safety: I actually felt safe!
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Awesome.
- Cashless payment service: Super convenient.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Good to know.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. Thank goodness.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They knew what they were doing.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Peace of mind.
- Safe dining setup: Check.
Amenities That Actually Mattered (And Some That Didn't):
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Swimming pool [outdoor]: Ah, the pool. The perfect antidote to a day of screaming. The Pool with view was fantastic! The Sauna and Steamroom were a nice touch, though I didn't have time to really Spa down. Gym/fitness: I wish I had gone to the gym. Maybe next time!
For the Kids: As my children are grown and gone, I did not utilize these features.
Available in all rooms: Air conditioning: A GODSEND. Coffee/tea maker: A LIFESAVER (see above). Hair dryer, Mini bar, Refrigerator, and Safe box: All good. Wake-up service: Used it religiously to, get this, head to the park early to avoid lines!
The Imperfect Bits (Because Life Isn't a Theme Park All the Time):
- The Lines: Okay, this isn’t the hotel's fault, but it’s part of the experience. Prepare to wait. A Lot. Invest in those fancy Fast Lane passes if you can stomach it. You’ll thank me (and your bladder) later.
- The Food (Some of It): The buffet breakfast had a Buffet in restaurant which was a plus and the Coffee/tea in restaurant was critical! But the Desserts in restaurant were the best part. However, Some of the theme park food was… well, it's theme park food. Overpriced and not exactly gourmet. The Snack bar was mostly necessary and not really that amazing.
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Absolutely. Despite the slightly overwhelming crowds and the occasional questionable food, Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort delivers. The thrills are real, the pool is gorgeous, and the staff is genuinely friendly. Just be prepared for a wild ride and a whole lot of walking. And maybe pack your own snacks. I give it a solid 4 out of 5 stars. (I’m docking a star for those lines… and the questionable quality of the soft-serve.) Book it, but brace yourself! You've been warned. And don't forget to hydrate!
Luxury Fredericksburg Stay: Clarion Hotel & Suites Convention Center
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. We're going to Shakopee, Minnesota, and we're going to do… well, something. Honestly, I’m mostly winging it, which is my travel style. Think less "precision Swiss watch" and more "drunken octopus wrestling a bouncy castle." Here we go:
Travelodge by Wyndham Valleyfair Shakopee - The "Almost Had a Mental Breakdown in a Parking Lot" Edition
Day 1: Arrival and… Uh… Existential Dread (and Burgers)
- 1:00 PM - Arrival at MSP (Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport). Okay, so, first hurdle. I’m already sweating. Even though I’m from relatively close, airport anxiety. It's a thing. Found my rental car (a surprisingly sprightly Kia Soul named "Sparky"). The car rental agent seemed a bit TOO perky. I half expected her to offer me a timeshare in Duluth. Dodged that bullet, thank God.
- 1:30 PM - The Great Shakopee Search. GPS is my frenemy. It thinks it knows where the Travelodge is, but it kept rerouting me. Felt like my whole existence was being played out in circles. Finally, after nearly driving into a ditch, there it was. The humble Travelodge. It was… a Travelodge. No fireworks, but honestly, by this point, just surviving the drive was a victory.
- 2:00 PM - Check-In and Room Revelation: The lobby smells faintly of chlorine and desperation (not entirely sure where that came from…) The check-in person was super nice, though. My room? It was… a room. Functional. Cleanish. The air conditioner sounded like a distressed jet engine, but hey, at least it worked. My first impression? This is a room. Nothing more, nothing less.
- 2:30 PM - The Quest for Food (and Sanity). I was starving. Seriously, hangry levels reaching DEFCON 1. Yelp pointed me towards a burger joint called “Lion’s Tap.” Which turned out to be a damn good burger. Like, ridiculously good. I devoured it. I think the fries were made of pure ambrosia. I momentarily forgot I was in a Travelodge and felt a sliver of joy. Food is a fundamental need for mental health, at least for me.
- 4:00 PM - Unpack and Contemplate the Ceiling Fan. The fan was… well, it was there. Spinning. I stared at it for a worrying amount of time. My brain was still rebooting from the travel. I may have found a dust bunny and named him…Gerald.
- 6:00 PM - Valleyfair Reconnaissance Mission (Sort Of). A brief drive-by of Valleyfair. It looked… big. Too big. Crowds. That's when the anxiety hit again. I'm not a huge fan of crowds. (Side note: Why is it always the loudest, most annoying people who get to ride the rollercoasters and laugh at the speed?) Decided to postpone actual park entry until tomorrow. It feels like all the adrenaline that I should have been spending on the rollercoasters would have been used up on just getting inside.
- 7:00 PM - Pizza and Self-Doubt. Ordered pizza delivery to the room. Cheese pizza, classic. Comfort food. Questioned all my life choices while eating it. The pizza was fine. My life choices? Still a work in progress. The pizza was a good cover for my mid-dinner breakdowns. I took a moment to cry, but it quickly passed.
- 9:00 PM - Sleep (or Attempt to Sleep, with Jet Engine Soundtrack). The air conditioner… well, you get the picture. I may have considered duct-taping it to silence it, but the thought of a fire hazard was too scary.
- 10:00 PM - The Great Toilet Run. Woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I didn't know it was possible to sweat so much in my sleep. I swear, the pressure that I felt in my stomach might have been a sign of my anxiety, or that pizza…
Day 2: Valleyfair - The "Will I Survive?" Edition
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast of Champions (or at least, mildly edible). The Travelodge breakfast bar. Toast, bagels, pre-packaged muffins. Coffee that tasted vaguely of… well, I’m not sure. Substance. The people. I stared at the other guests trying to decide if they were up to the task of a rollercoaster day.
- 9:00 AM - Preparation for War. I checked the weather (mostly cloudy, maybe a little rain). I slapped on sunscreen. I mentally psyched myself up to face… heights. And crowds. And lines. And… everything. It was all quite overwhelming before I even walked out the door.
- 10:00 AM - Valleyfair: The Gauntlet Begins! Okay, here we go. Walked through the entrance. It's… a lot. So. Many. People. The music was loud. The smells of funnel cake and cotton candy and… something else I couldn't place. I decided to start with the less terrifying rides. Which, apparently, still involved heights.
- 10:30 AM - The Tilt-A-Whirl Debacle. I always think I'm prepared for the Tilt-A-Whirl. I'm not. I got dizzy, and then nauseous. But, I survived. The little children who came out of the Tilt-A-Whirl were less nauseous. I’m getting old!
- 11:00 AM - The High Roller (Sort Of). I decided to try a roller coaster. The first one I saw wasn't too scary. The ride was fine. I laughed the entire time. I may have been the only one. But, hey!
- 12:00 PM - Lunch and Regroup. Found a moderately overpriced burger and fries. People watching is an underrated art form.
- 1:00 PM - The Xtreme Roller Coaster: Ok. My adrenaline was now in overdrive. This was a big one. I started the line. Again, I started thinking that everyone looked so happy. It was all the excitement that I was feeling. I got on the roller coaster! I didn't enjoy it, really. I was just scared the entire time.
- 2:30 PM - The Water Park Escape. The heat was oppressive. Desperately needed relief. The water park section of Valleyfair was a godsend. Spent an hour floating in the lazy river, reflecting on my life choices. My anxiety washed away with the water. I can handle this!
- 3:30 PM - Trying Again at the Roller Coasters: The second time around, was not the charm. I gave up. I was terrified of heights again. I went for the kiddie rides!
- 5:00 PM - Valleyfair Exit: I was exhausted. But I made it!
- 6:00 PM - Dinner at a Local Restaurant. I found a little place called "The Original Malt Shop". Very cute! I got a burger. I was hungry.
- 7:00 PM - Back to the Room of Eternal Sound. The air conditioner continued its sad, mechanical concerto. I decided to watch a movie to drown it out and escape to another dimension.
- 9:00 PM - Bed, Sweet, Possibly Sweaty Bed. And dreaming of… maybe a different vacation? Maybe a vacation that doesn't involve heights? We'll see.
Day 3: Departure (and a Plea for Sanity)
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast…Again. Survived another round of Travelodge breakfast. Beginning to feel like a seasoned pro at lukewarm coffee.
- 9:00 AM - Check Out (and Freedom!). The nice front desk person was, again, relentlessly cheery. I escaped.
- 9:30 AM - Last-Minute Souvenir Search (Maybe). There was a small store with t-shirts. I hate souvenir shopping.
- 10:00 AM - The Drive to MSP. The GPS held up this time!
- 11:00 AM - Airport. Goodbye, Shakopee. Goodbye, Anxiety. Boarding the plane. Looking for a stress ball.
- 12:00 PM - The end. I survived. Next time, I'm leaving the air conditioner and the rollercoasters
- 1:00 PM - The aftermath. As I am writing this, I am exhausted, but I would be ok going back again!
Valleyfair + Lodge: Your Shakopee Adventure Awaits... IF you can handle it! (and *maybe* you should)
Okay, seriously… Is Valleyfair worth the hype? My kid heard about the Renegade?!
Look, the hype is... well, it's there. And listen, the Renegade? That thing is *terrifyingly* awesome. My stomach did that weird flip-flop thing the whole time, and I *swear* my sunglasses tried to escape my face. But yeah, worth it. Depending on your definition of "worth it." If you're into screaming (me!) and that glorious, stomach-in-your-throat feeling? Absolutely. If you're more of a "gentle amusement ride" type? Maybe stick to the carousel. Or better yet, grab a gigantic funnel cake and people-watch. That’s valid too. My kid, bless her heart, practically lived on Snoopy's area for the whole day, she’s not a coaster type person, honestly, and still, the *overall* experience? Magical, albeit exhausting.
The Lodge – is it actually “lodge-like” or more "motel with a pool"?
Okay, truth time. "Lodge" might be a *touch* generous. It’s not rustic chic, folks. Think… comfortable. Clean, generally. The pool? Yup. Perfect for rinsing off the park sweat and the inevitable sugar-rush-induced meltdown at the end of the day. (That was me, post-funnel cake, by the way. Don't judge.) My advice? Lower your expectations on the 'lodge' aspect, and you'll be pleasantly surprised. The beds are comfy, the AC works (crucial), and it's a heck of a lot better than driving home after a full day of coasters. Plus, the proximity to the park? Gold. Pure gold. Especially with cranky kids in tow.
Can I actually get a decent meal in Valleyfair? Everything smells like fried food.
Ugh, the fried food smell. It’s an olfactory assault, I understand. But YES, you can find stuff. I'm always on the hunt for something that won't make me feel like a greasy paper towel later. The pizza is... well, it's theme park pizza. Acceptable. They have some salad options, which I, desperately, sought out. And, okay, the funnel cakes are undeniably amazing. Embrace the chaos – or at least, find a shady spot to enjoy your less-than-healthy, but undeniably delicious, treat. Honestly, though, bring snacks. Genius move on my part after learning my lesson the hard way. Seriously, just stuff your bag with granola bars and water bottles. Your wallet and your sanity will thank you.
What’s the best time to go to avoid the massive lines? And can I even survive the lines with a toddler?
Ah, the million-dollar question! Weekdays, people. Weekdays. (Unless you're going during a special event. Then, good luck.) Early mornings are also your friend. Get there when the gates open, hit the big rides *first*, and pray to the coaster gods. As for surviving with a toddler... Look, it's a workout. Seriously. Stroller, snacks, bribery (lots of it). Plan accordingly. And accept that you won't get to ride everything. Embrace the Snoopy area, which my toddler adored (again, bless her heart), and the slower-paced rides. And consider bringing *another* adult. Trust me. One for the toddler, one for the adrenaline. It’s a math equation designed for maximum insanity but potential fun.
Are there any height restrictions I need to know about *before* we get there and my kid melts down?
YES. Google it! The Valleyfair website has a very detailed breakdown of height restrictions for each ride. Print it out. Laminate it. Tape it to your forehead. Okay, maybe not, but *seriously* check it. Nothing is worse than a heartbroken kid (or a disappointed adult) and knowing the whole time beforehand. The app actually has a map with height filtering, it’s actually a lifesaver. Trust me on this one. I learned the hard way. It’s not pretty. Think: tears, tantrums, and a *very* long afternoon of trying to distract a disappointed child with overpriced cotton candy. Just… check the heights, people. Please. For the love of all that’s holy.
Water Park – Worth it? Or a sticky, crowded nightmare?
Okay, this is where things get *really* interesting. The water park... It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? On a scorching summer day, it's glorious. Pure, unadulterated relief from the heat. Slides, wave pool, lazy river... bliss. But... It *is* crowded. And slippery. And you'll be fighting for a spot to put your towel. And the lines for the slides are often epic. My advice? Go. Embrace the chaos. Wear water shoes. Apply sunscreen religiously. And be prepared to embrace the fact that you’ll be slightly sticky and sunburnt by the end of the day. But the smiles on the kids' faces? Worth. It. Maybe. Possibly. Depends on how you feel about chlorine.
Can you give me the real deal on the parking situation/cost?
Ugh, parking. The hidden cost of your day of fun. Yes, you have to pay. Expect to shell out some cash. It's not cheap, and honestly, it always feels a little irritating after you've already dropped serious dough on tickets and food. Arrive early to minimize the walk from the car, especially if you've got little ones. The lot can get *massive*. And consider parking options, if they have them. Sometimes, a "preferred parking" option is available that might be worth it for convenience. Otherwise, embrace the walk as a pre-coaster warm-up (or a post-coaster leg-sore recovery). The whole thing is a process, really.
I have small children – is there *anything* for them besides the carousel and Snoopy area?
Yes! Okay, the carousel and Snoopy area are great for the tiny humans, but there's more! There are rides in the kids areas that are super fun, even for us adults who are not typically fans of kiddie rides. Check ride ratings too. Some are surprisingly thrilling! And the shows! Valleyfair often has shows geared toward the younger crowd, which can be a nice break from the ride madness. Even the water park has areas designed for little ones. And honestly, sometimes just wandering around, watching theHoneymoon Havenst
Post a Comment for "Valleyfair Thrills & Lodge Comfort: Your Shakopee Getaway Awaits!"