Escape to Middletown, RI: Howard Johnson's Unbeatable Newport Getaway!
Escape to Middletown, RI: Is Howard Johnson's Your Newport Dream? (Maybe… Let's Figure It Out!)
Okay, so here's the deal. We're talking about a Howard Johnson's in Middletown, Rhode Island. Newport is right there, practically breathing down its neck. So, the question isn't just is it a good hotel, but *is it a *good Newport hotel? Let's dive in and see if it's worth the (potential) price of admission. I'm gonna be real with you, folks. Expect some rambling, some hyperbole, and a whole lotta honesty. This isn't a sterile, pre-fab review. This is me, spilling the tea.
TL;DR Up Front: It's a Howard Johnson's. Manage your expectations. But it’s surprisingly got some decent perks, especially if you’re on a budget and want to experience Newport AND have a spa day…or at least pretend you're having a spa day.
Accessibility - Let's Be Real!:
- Wheelchair accessible: I didn't personally test this, but the website claims it's available. Always call and confirm! Accessibility is a HUGE deal, and hotels often… underestimate the meaning of "accessible". Double-check EVERYTHING.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Again, check specifics. Does it have accessible rooms? Roll-in showers? Grab bars? Get detailed before you commit!
Cleanliness and Safety - Gotta Get this Right!
Alright, look. Post-pandemic, this is paramount. I want to feel safe, you get me?
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good start.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Promising.
- Hand sanitizer: Essential.
- Hygiene certification: (Insert skeptical emoji here). Does it feel clean? That's the real test.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Honestly, that’s a bit weird. I'd prefer the opposite, but, hey, options, I guess.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: This is non-negotiable nowadays.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: HOPEFULLY.
- Shared stationery removed: Excellent. No one wants to touch a pen that a thousand strangers have used.
- Safe dining setup: We'll get to the food later.
- Sterilizing equipment: Excellent.
- Beyond the basics, it's the feeling. Did the room smell clean? Did you see staff wiping down surfaces with gusto? Was the lobby free of dust bunnies? These little things make a big difference.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - The Culinary Adventure (or Avoidance?)
Okay, the moment of truth. Howard Johnson's isn't exactly known for Michelin-starred experiences.
- Restaurants: Plural? I'm skeptical. Are we talking a greasy spoon? A sad continental breakfast? I need DETAILS!
- Breakfast [buffet]: This could be a highlight… or an absolute nightmare. Imagine lukewarm scrambled eggs and questionable bacon. Or, it could be surprisingly decent, with fresh fruit and decent coffee. The suspense is killing me.
- Breakfast takeaway service: A plus if you're in a hurry.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Essential. I need my caffeine fix.
- Poolside bar: Now we're talking! Imagine yourself… sipping a frozen cocktail… by the pool… (More on the pool later).
- Room service [24-hour]: This is a major convenience, especially if you're exhausted from exploring Newport. Late-night pizza, anyone?
- Snack bar: Again, the quality of the snacks is critical.
Services and Conveniences - What Can They ACTUALLY Do for You?
- Concierge: Useful for getting restaurant recommendations, booking tours, etc. If the concierge is actually helpful.
- Cash withdrawal: Essential.
- Daily housekeeping: A must-have.
- Dry cleaning/laundry service: Convenient, especially if you're traveling for a while.
- Elevator: Crucial for anyone with mobility issues.
- Food delivery: Okay, this is Newport, so there's probably a plethora of fantastic food delivery options.
- Luggage storage: A lifesaver on check-in/check-out days.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Business facilities: These aren’t relevant to me but are very important to some!
- Safety deposit boxes: Always a good idea for valuables.
- Wi-Fi for special events: (See internet section)
- Xerox/fax in business center: Seriously? Is this 1998?
For The Kids - Wrangling the Little Ones
I'm not traveling with tykes, but I'm aware of the needs.
- Babysitting service: Helpful.
- Family/child friendly: Important. Is there a playground? Kid-friendly menus?
- Kids meal: Another crucial consideration.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax - The "Spa" Dream
- Fitness center: Let's be real, how good is it? Does it have enough equipment? Is it clean? (Starting to see a theme here?)
- Pool with view: THE DREAM. A lovely pool is a big selling point. Especially after a long day of walking the Newport mansions.
- Sauna, Steamroom, Spa: Okay, this is interesting. A Howard Johnson's with a spa? I’m intrigued. I mean, it's probably not the Four Seasons, but it could be a pleasant surprise. The idea of a spa day, even a budget one, is appealing. Time to check the prices!
- Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap: If these are available, that could really be a point that differentiates it from all of the other motels in the area!
Rooms and Other Details - Get Me My Sanctuary!
- Air conditioning: Essential in summer.
- Free Wi-Fi: And the internet works, right? This is the 21st century.
- Blackout curtains: Needed for a good night's sleep.
- Coffee/tea maker: YES! A morning essential.
- Desk: Great if you’re working.
- Hair dryer: A must-have.
- In-room safe box: A must-have.
- Mini bar: Always a treat.
- Non-smoking: Bless.
- Satellite/cable channels: Something to watch while you’re unwinding.
- Seating area, Sofa: A nice space to relax, other than the bed!
- Smoke detector: Safety first!
- Wake-up service: Useful for early morning adventures.
- Window that opens: Fresh air, always a plus.
Getting Around - Location, Location, Location!
- Airport transfer: A bonus.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Probably required.
- Taxi service: Easily accessible.
The Overall Vibe - And My Personal Rambling!
So, will this Howard Johnson’s whisk you away to a Newport fairytale? Probably not. But, with the right expectations, it could be a decent base camp for exploring Newport. The pool is a huge draw for me, the idea of a spa is tempting if the pricing isn't too crazy, and the location in relation to stuff is… well, it’s in Middletown. But is it convenient to the things you want to SEE? That's what matters.
I’m always, always on the hunt for a good deal. If the price is right, and the pool has some decent views, I could see myself giving this place a shot. But I'd be going in with my eyes wide open, ready for a slightly rough-around-the-edges experience. And hey, sometimes, those are the best kinds of trips, aren't they? It all depends on what you're really after. So, research, compare, and decide! Good luck!
Escape to Comfort: Amherst's BEST Extended Stay Hotel!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, 'cause we're about to embark on a Rhode Island Ramble, courtesy of the good ol' Howard Johnson in Middletown. This isn't your perfectly-preened travel blog. This is… me. And trust me, it's gonna get weird.
Day 1: Arrival and the Mystery of the Pool
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at the Howard Johnson. Okay, first impressions: the lobby smells slightly of stale chlorine and… ambition? I'm not sure. The check-in guy, bless his heart, is wearing a shirt that looks like it was last ironed by a small, highly-strung hamster. He's friendly, though! And he gives me a key that, upon inspection, looks like it predates the internet. Score!
- 1:30 PM: Room assessment. Standard HoJo fare. Clean enough, but the carpet has seen THINGS. There’s a distinct… vibe of "lived-in." You know, the kind of vibe that says, "Someone definitely ate a pizza here at 3 AM last Tuesday." But hey, I’m not here to judge, I’m here to… live.
- 2:00 PM: The Pool! This is the moment of truth. I had high hopes for a crystal-clear aquatic oasis. Instead, it looks… green. Like, swamp thing green. A lone plastic swan bobs forlornly in the corner. I contemplate a dip. Then I contemplate my health insurance. I decide to… postpone the pool experience. For now.
- 2:30 PM: Snack stop. I hit the vending machine. The options: stale chips, chocolate bars that look like they've been sitting in the sun since the Reagan administration, and a bottle of water that’s probably older than me. I opt for the water. It’s lukewarm. Sigh.
- 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Cruising Ocean Drive. Okay, this is more like it! The scenery is breathtaking! The mansions! The ocean! The sheer audacity of the people who live in those mansions! I spend a good hour just gawking. Then, I get a flat tire. On Ocean Drive. In a rental car. The universe, it seems, has a wicked sense of humor. Roadside assistance takes forever, and I end up having to explain to the tow truck driver that, yes, I am lost, and no, I don’t know where I'm going, and also, I probably should learn how to change a tire. Eventually, I'm back on the road.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a random clam shack (because, Rhode Island!). I order clam chowder, which is creamy and delicious, despite my earlier flat-tire-induced grumpiness. I overhear a couple bickering. Classic. Rhode Island: a land of delicious food and perpetually dissatisfied couples. I like it here.
- 8:00 PM: Back to the HoJo. That pool… still green. I'm tempted to sneak a peek at it in the dark, but I'm pretty sure that would involve some sort of insurance liability I don't need. Instead, I turn on the TV and discover a late-night infomercial for a product promising "a firmer, younger you." I am glued. This is exactly what I came to Rhode Island for: late-night TV and the possibility of a miraculously improved physique.
Day 2: Newport, Mansions, and Monumental Mess
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the HoJo. The "complimentary breakfast" consists of stale bagels, questionable coffee, and a fruit salad that looks like it was assembled in a hurry. I pick at a bagel and drink the coffee – it’s surprisingly effective!
- 9:00 AM: Newport bound! The drive over is gorgeous, even the old tires from Day 1.
- 9:30 AM - 12:00 PM: The Breakers. Okay. This mansion. Oh. My. God. Imagine the sheer audacity of someone building a house this big! I'm walking around, jaw agape, whispering things like "Unbelievable!" and "I could get lost in here forever," I become completely absorbed in the gilded age of the rich, the glamour, the audacity. It's a whirlwind! I would recommend spending more time here, but I was swept along by the crowds, and there was just such an aura of grandiosity that it was hard to stop and truly take it all in. If I could go again, I'd just set aside a whole day. Seriously, this place is worth the price of admission alone.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch in Newport. Lobster roll, obviously. It's buttery, it's delicious, and I'm covered in mayonnaise. Worth it.
- 1:30 PM - 3:00 PM: Cliff Walk. Scenic, but also slightly terrifying. Okay, very terrifying. I'm afraid of heights. And I managed to pick a day where the wind is howling. I cling to the railings, my knuckles white, while everyone else seems to be leisurely strolling. I have some major anxiety, but still, I trudge on, and the views are stunning. So that's something.
- 3:30 PM: Back to the HoJo. I feel like I've been in a war. My legs ache. My soul yearns for a nap. I decide to take a long hot shower, but the water pressure is… nonexistent. I'm pretty sure I'm cleaner before the shower than after. I'm starting to bond with this hotel.
- 4:30 PM: I decide to brave the pool. I put on my swimsuit, hold my breath, and jump in. To my surprise, it's not as bad as it looks! Still a bit green-ish, but refreshing. I even manage to swim a few laps, though I'm pretty sure I swallowed half the chlorine.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local seafood place. Another lobster roll, because, when in Rhode Island… I'm starting to think I should buy stock in lobster.
- 8:00 PM: Back to the room. I watch another infomercial, this one about a miracle weight-loss tea. I'm skeptical, but also… intrigued. I decide to order it. This trip is getting expensive.
Day 3: Departure and Reflection (and maybe some regret)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up… with a stomach ache. I'm blaming the questionable coffee and the weight loss tea.
- 9:00 AM: Check out and farewell to the Howard Johnson. I'm leaving a slightly more seasoned, slightly more mayonnaise-covered, and definitely more sleep deprived version of myself than the one who arrived.
- 9:30 AM: Driving out of Middletown. One last look at the HoJo. I wave. I feel a strange sense of… nostalgia? Maybe?
- 10:00 AM: Reflecting on my Rhode Island experience. Ups? Down? A whole lot of in-between. I had some incredible moments, saw some truly stunning sights, and experienced the sheer joy of a flat tire on Ocean Drive. I ate some amazing seafood. The pool was… an experience. I would definitely stay in the HoJo again: I might not want to live there, but you know, it's home, and it's familiar. Maybe next time I'll take some swimming lessons before I go. Maybe.
This trip wasn't perfect. It was messy, it was imperfect, and it was, in its own way, utterly wonderful. And now, time to go home and… figure out how to pay for all the lobster. And that weight-loss tea. Wish me luck, world.
Taipei's Hidden Gem: Xiao Jiaoluo Hostel & Cafe - Unbelievable!
Okay, so... Howard Johnson's in Middletown? Seriously? Is this some kind of ironic hipster thing?
Look, let's be honest. At first? Yeah. I was totally judging. Howard Johnson's? In Newport? I pictured chipped paint, a questionable pool, and a continental breakfast consisting solely of stale muffins. My friend Sarah – bless her adventurous heart – was the one who actually booked it. I was skeptical. Deeply. But then... we went. And the ironic hipster thing? Nope. More like... a glorious, slightly-worn-around-the-edges, totally-charming blast from the past. Think less "Instagram-worthy chic," more "Grandma's attic, in the best way possible."
What's the actual, *practical* appeal? Is it just proximity to Newport?
Alright, practicalities. Yes, CLOSE. Like, ridiculously close. We're talking a quick hop over the bridge. The Newport mansions? Done. Cliff Walk? Nailed it. The crowded restaurants? Accessible, but without the heart attack-inducing parking situation. That alone is worth a million bucks. Plus, the price. Seriously, it's way more affordable than anything IN Newport. Especially during the summer. We're talking enough saved dollars to actually enjoy a *decent* lobster roll (instead of the sad, pre-packaged kind). And parking? A dream. Free. Abundant. Glorious. I spent a solid ten minutes just appreciating the simple joy of not circling a block for an hour.
Tell me about the rooms. Are they… clean?
Okay, honesty time. They're not the Ritz. But! They're clean. CLEAN clean. Like, I'm a bit germophobic (don't judge!), and I didn't feel the need to bleach everything. Think classic motel vibes – slightly dated decor, but perfectly functional. We had a king-sized bed that was surprisingly comfortable. And the air conditioning? A godsend. The best part? The sheer simplicity. No fussy, pretentious nonsense. Just a comfortable bed, a working TV (with cable!), and hot water. You know, all the essentials. I've stayed in "boutique" hotels that charge triple the price and are somehow LESS comfortable. Trust me, I've learned the hard way.
The pool scene... is it something?
Okay, the pool. This is where things get... interesting. It's not Olympic-sized, folks. Let's get that straight. It's more of a... well, a medium-sized rectangle. But it's clean. It's warm (or at least, it was during our visit). and it was the perfect antidote to a day spent dodging tourists and suffering from mansion-envy. That's where it gets memorable, The sheer character of the pool is palpable. Picture this: Kids splashing, dads grilling burgers, the faint smell of chlorine and sunscreen… and a couple of old ladies, sunning themselves like lizards, gossiping about the local gossip – which, by the way, I overheard some truly juicy tidbits about which Newport socialite was secretly dating a yacht captain. It was pure, unadulterated, small-town Americana, and I loved every minute of it. I even managed to develop an absurd tan line.
Food! Is there anything good nearby? Like, besides fast food?
YES! Absolutely. While the Howard Johnson's doesn't have a restaurant itself (which, honestly, keeps the prices down), you're surrounded by options. There's everything from casual clam shacks (because, Rhode Island!) to some surprisingly decent Italian places. We had a killer breakfast at a little diner up the street – fluffy pancakes, crispy bacon, and bottomless coffee. Pro tip: ask the locals. They know the hidden gems. That's how we found "The Clam Shack of Untold Delights," which, despite its dubious name, served the best fried clams I've ever eaten. And for late-night snacks? There's a 24-hour convenience store. Because, priorities.
What's the *vibe* like? Is it family-friendly? Rowdy? Romantic?
Okay, the vibe. It's... mellow. DEFINITELY family-friendly. Lots of kids running around, which, if you have your own, is great. If not, well... pack some ear plugs. But everyone's generally chill. No booming music, no wild parties. It's the kind of place where you can actually *relax*. We saw couples, families, solo travelers, and a bunch of people just looking to escape the Newport rat race. It’s not exactly romantic, but it's definitely chill and welcoming of anyone. The perfect escape after a tiring day.
Okay, what's the WORST thing about it? Let's be honest.
Alright. The absolute worst thing? Okay, the shower pressure. It's not exactly a power wash. You will need to be patient. Also, the occasional traffic getting *to* Newport (especially in the summer) can be a beast. That bridge is a bottleneck. But honestly? Those are minor quibbles. The overall experience – the price, the location, the sheer lack of pretension – more than makes up for it. My biggest problem was that the pool towel situation felt a bit… lacking. Bring your own if you're fussy.
So, would you recommend it? Seriously?
Absolutely. YES. A thousand times, yes! If you're looking for a luxurious, high-end, meticulously curated experience, then go to The Vanderbilt (or whatever the new fancy place is). But if you want a genuinely enjoyable, affordable, and hassle-free Newport getaway? Book that Howard Johnson's room. Prepare to have your low expectations delightfully exceeded. You might even find yourself, like me, secretly hoping it never changes. It’s imperfect, yes, but that’s part of its charm. Besides you'll be coming back for more. Trust me!
Any other insider tips or secret information I should know?
Oh, yes! Absolutely. First, book in advance, especially if you're going during the peak season. Secondly, try to get a room overlooking the pool. It's the prime people-watching spot. Third, pack a cooler! Drinks, snacks, whatever you need to avoid those overpriced hotel mini-fridge charges. Fourth, bring cash for tips for the great staff, who deserve it.
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